Are You Really?
by beth51276
Summary: Shortly after the Ninth Doctor and Rose Tyler embark on a romantic relationship, their happiness is cut short by the events at the Gamestation. Trapped in Pete's World with their son, Rose is determined to find a way back to the Doctor.
1. Chapter 1- Prologue

Pairing: Nine/Rose

Rating: Light M for sexual content and language

Caveat to readers: Ten will be in this story, but this is not really a Ten/Rose story. I make no apologies for that.

Prologue

To any observer that was intimate with their situation, it would have been described as a predestined snowball effect. It wasn't any single situation, but the culmination of many in a fairly short period of time.

The proverbial last straw, of course, was Cardiff. The Doctor was no fool. He knew any idiot could see what he had refused to admit. It gave him a perverse sense of pleasure to watch Mickey the Idiot's face fall when it was clear that Rose wasn't coming back to London. She was staying with him, in the TARDIS.

Jack Harkness had pleasantly surprised him. Not only had he proven his resourcefulness, he had also given the Time Lord some peace of mind in regard to Rose's safety. The Doctor knew that he could trust Jack to protect Rose. The silent glare he had given Jack over Rose's shoulder the night he boarded the TARDIS did not require reiteration.

Jack played along as the Doctor sought to point out how Rose was meant to be a time traveler, as though she had been born to it. The message was unmistakable. _Rose belongs here. You do not._ The Doctor was thoroughly pleased at the way Mickey bumbled his part when they had cornered and captured Blon. But he hadn't counted on watching Rose slip away from the TARDIS, hand in hand with Mickey.

"So, what's on?" asked the Captain, with a knowing look.

"Nothing, just…" The Doctor refused to elaborate further, especially with Blon in their custody. There was no fooling Jack. He knew damned well what the Doctor was watching and why. Unfortunately, watching Rose wander off with Mickey was nothing compared to what happened later. The Time Lord had struggled to keep the silent terror from his expression as Blon held Rose in a chokehold that could easily become lethal within an instant. Fortunately, the TARDIS was alive and Blon was nothing in the face of her power.

In the end, it was too much. Rose had nearly been killed and there were tears in her eyes over Mickey. She had returned to the TARDIS, and to his disbelief, said Mickey deserved better. He couldn't stand it anymore. Rose disappeared from the console room, heading towards her bedroom.

With a silent nod at Jack, the Doctor was hot on her heels. She had barely shut the door before he was knocking.

"Rose!"

"Go away," came her muffled answer.

"I'm not going away, Rose. Open the door. I want…." Here he stumbled for a logical reason to come in. "I need to check you over. Blon nearly killed you."

"I'm fine, Doctor."

"You're not fine, Rose. Now just let me in."

Rose finally opened the door. "It wasn't locked." She turned around and sank onto her bed, clutching a fleece blanket.

The Doctor sat on the bed next to her. "Let me see. If you're bruised up, it will feel that much worse in the morning." He barely touched the soft, but bruised skin of Rose's neck.

Rose flinched as his hands ran along angry bruises.

"I'll go to the infirmary, we can get that fixed up right away."

"He wanted promises from me, you know," sighed Rose.

"What sort of promises?"

"Promises I can't keep. I don't want to keep them either. I had already made my promises to you."

The Doctor knew what she meant. When she said, "There's me." and "Good thing I'm not going anywhere." Then there was the trip they made to Woman Wept, their last stop before they picked up Jack in 1941.

 _They had kept to calmer locales after the incident with the Reapers, becoming closer than ever in spite of the harsh words that had been exchanged between them. Finally, he brought her to Woman Wept. Rather than their usual habit of holding hands, he had drawn an arm protectively around Rose's shoulder steadying her as they walked together under enormous waves of ice._

 _He tenderly touched her face with a single gloved finger, running it softly along her jawline. His blue eyes were naked and vulnerable when he finally spoke._

 _"How long are you going to stay with me?"_

 _Not even half a heartbeat had passed before Rose's eyes lit up and she answered emphatically._

 _"Forever."_

The Doctor's eyes were soft and understanding as he laid his cool hand over Rose's warm one. "They're mutually exclusive."

"Yep. Can't promise I'll stay with you and promise Mickey I'll come back to Earth to stay and resume a relationship with him."

"Get washed up, Rose. I'll be back in a few minutes and we'll fix up your neck. You'll be thanking me in the morning, believe me."

When he returned with the dermal generator, she was freshly scrubbed, wearing her usual bedtime attire. The Doctor was always amused by fleece sleepwear embellished with Hello Kitty. Apparently even grown women liked cutesy characters on their pajamas.

His face was solemn after he had finished healing the bruises on Rose's neck. He had been confronted in one short night with different ways of losing her.

His eyes locked on hers. "Do you love Mickey?"

"I do love him. Known him my whole life, as you already know. He's a good bloke, Doctor. Deserved better than me just running away like that. But when we were fighting, he said something…said that we were nice."

"Meaning the two of you, I gather. Nice together?"

"Yeah, that. But I want more than nice. Mickey deserves more than nice. I don't know if he was telling the truth when he said he was going out with Tricia. Made me mad. Never even so much as kissed anyone since I started traveling with you. And what did I do? Made some petty remark about Tricia's weight. Like that somehow matters if Mickey really likes her. It was mean to say that."

"Not any more petty than Rickey calling me Big Ears," he grumbled in response.

Rose's voice was a bare whisper when she answered him shyly. "I like your ears."

The tips of the ears in question blushed slightly before the Doctor snorted derisively. "I should scan you for a brain injury. Next you'll be telling me you like my daft old face, Rose Tyler."

"But I do!"

"I'm not one of your pretty boys, Rose."

"No, you're not. But you're ruggedly gorgeous in your own way."

Rose's initial shyness disappeared as they sat on the bed looking at each other, never breaking eye contact. Later, they wouldn't be able to tell who had moved first. But the end result was both of them meeting together in a fiery embrace, lips and tongues clashing, dueling for control until mere kisses were no longer enough. As they were already on a bed, there was no need to search for a better location.

At the same moment the Doctor broke off the kiss, Rose anticipated his question. "Don't you dare ask me if this is what I really want, Doctor."

All conversation ceased as the Doctor took Rose at her word and clothing began to disappear. Rose had often fantasized about the Doctor's leather jacket dropping on her bedroom floor with a thud, and actually hearing it made her womb twinge in anticipation. The Doctor's eyes were electric as his nostrils flared slightly, fully realizing the onslaught of Rose's arousal.

No conversation, but frantic words were exchanged. There was _harder, fuck,_ and _yes_ between pitched cries and guttural moans, as they reached a violent climax together. When they were finished, there were smiles exchanged, and soft touches, love expressed in every possible way except words and suddenly they were making love again. This time it was with a tenderness that brought Rose to tears for the second time that night, but for a completely different reason.

Rose's last idle thought before she fell asleep in the Doctor's arms was that she could scarcely believe she had contemplated what she knew would be an unsatisfying shag with Mickey in a strange hotel room.

They had three blissful weeks together before they found themselves in a no-win scenario on the Gamestation. Rose defied the Doctor's ultimate act of love in a nearly suicidal plan to save him, only to be horrified as her lover disappeared in a blaze of light and a stranger stood there in his clothes.


	2. Chapter 2- Apologies Made

Rose woke up to the Doctor smiling softly at her, and his blue eyes crinkled at the corners in a loving smile.

"Morning," she mumbled. "How long have you been watching me?"

"Don't sleep much, me. You're so beautiful and peaceful when you're asleep, you know that?"

"I….I love you," she whispered, voice beginning to break, tears threatening to leak from the corners of her eyes.

"I love you." He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, as he pressed his lips to hers. Sensing her anxiety, his voice was almost caressing as he spoke. "What's the matter, darling?"

"I'm dreaming. You're not really here. I know I'm dreaming because you never told me you loved me, even if I knew that you did. You never called me darling, either." Rose choked on an anguished cry. "You died. Why did you leave me, Doctor?"

"I didn't leave you, Rose. He's still me, Rose Tyler. He needs you. You'll need him, too."

Rose jerked out of her uneasy slumber in her bedroom on the TARDIS. Another dream about her leather Doctor. She knew she still mourned him, but she hadn't had these vivid dreams until they had returned to her own time to deal with the Krillitane.

She had wanted so much to take him at his word. Things happened so quickly. For one long moment, the man she loved was standing there in what she knew now was an attempt to lovingly reassure her in his final moments. Then he was replaced by this handsome stranger with a toothsome grin who looked around and actually picked up the conversation where it had left off.

Unfortunately, between her reticence and uncertainty and his nasty bout of regeneration sickness meant they careened into Earth after he had reset the controls to bring her back home. He promptly exited the TARDIS and babbled maniacally before wishing her Mum and Mickey a Happy Christmas and passed out.

She had a sick feeling that he was telling the truth, that he really was the Doctor, and the man she had fallen in love with was gone. Her beautiful, brooding man in leather who had been the lover she didn't realize she craved, replaced by this stranger. This was not the reunion she had anticipated once she woke up in the TARDIS. She planned to throw her arms around him, and finally tell him she loved him, even if it was words he couldn't say in return. They wouldn't make it to the bedroom and he would have her up against the wall in the corridor as their passion blazed out of control.

Things became chaotic as the Earth was invaded by Sycorax and the Doctor became so sick one of his hearts actually stopped. That was the moment of truth for Rose, the pained realization that he really was the Doctor, when she had used the stethoscope and heard both of his hearts beating. Luckily for the rest of the planet, he finally awoke and defeated the Sycorax.

She was encouraged by his initial behavior, really. They lounged in the grass on New Earth, reminiscing. He seemed to be less tormented, with a ready smile on his face. She wore a new purple blouse, hoping he would notice. Her efforts were briefly rewarded as his eyes made a familiar sweep of her body, calling her pink and yellow. After all, she wasn't blind or dead. If her leather clad love could see him, he would certainly call him a pretty boy. For he was more than just a bit nice. A lovely riot of chocolate brown hair and eyes to match, and he had a habit of wearing these specs that made him look very sexy.

Their adventure at Torchwood Castle was dangerous and exciting, and she thought things might start to move back in the right direction. That she could come to love her pinstriped Doctor. He had all the memories, but his personality was different.

But Mickey had called them back to Earth and she had met Sarah Jane. Now she knew from what he had told her before he regenerated that he had never been lovers with one of his companions. She knew he had traveled with others, naturally. But this woman was so angry at the Doctor, and instead of directing her anger at him, she unleashed her emotions on Rose instead. She started by taking shots at her age, and then making presumptions about her education. Rose still had all those insecurities about her formal education, and not finishing her A-Levels.

The two women became friends in the end, but the Doctor seemed oblivious and just let this woman insult her, as if it didn't matter that they had been lovers prior to his regeneration. Mickey still seemed hell bent on making her miserable, doing his own little victory dance, and making snide remarks.

Things had continued to slide downhill from there. Mickey basically invited himself on the TARDIS and the Doctor accepted in spite of the fact that he knew Rose didn't want him coming along. Everything was changing. That close intimacy between them that had built over the course of months was slipping away. For two days, the Doctor had moped about occasionally taking that bloody letter out of his pocket to sigh dejectedly once again.

Rose was seething by now, and now she couldn't stay silent anymore.

"For someone who claims to be the same man, your actions have been saying that you're not."

Startled, the Doctor put a quick and bouncy smile on his face and turned around to look at Rose. "Of course I'm the same man. Just because I changed doesn't mean…"

"Oh, but it does, Doctor. You know, if I had tons of plastic surgery, dyed my hair a different color, and wore it in a different style, I'd still be Rose Tyler. I'd still love chips beyond reason. I'd still like the same things and the same people, and I'd still have the same solutions to whatever life throws at me." She shook her head, determined to finish what she had to say without breaking down. "But I always forget you're an alien. You changed, and if it were just your looks, things would be just fine. You're different now."

"I'm still the Doctor, Rose."

"Yeah, but who are you beyond that? Isn't that what you said at Christmas? You said you didn't know what kind of man you were. That's because you've changed. And now I know what kind of man you are. You're the man who let Sarah Jane Smith look at me like the uneducated chav I am and fire off the first shot before she knew the first thing about me. And she did it because she was mad at you, but she didn't want to upset your little reunion, so she took it out on me instead."

The Doctor's eyebrows rose in consternation at this, "What would you have had me say, Rose?"

"You wanted me to believe in you, Doctor. Wanted me to believe you were still the same man," choking out the last words as she began to sob. "But are you really? Are you really him? He was protective of me. He loved me, told me so constantly,"

"I don't recall ever-"

"Shut it because you bloody well did!" she shouted, cutting him off abruptly. Oddly satisfied by his confusion at bearing the brunt of her temper, she found the courage to continue. "Not those exact words. It was when he told me he was so glad he met me, that he could save the world but lose me. How he was almost in tears in Utah when he thought I was dead." Rose scrubbed her face with her hands, mascara leaving trails down her cheeks. "Being glad we got shut of Adam and it was just him and me again. Captain Envy, Doctor. And all of those Gallifreyan words he'd whisper against my skin while we made love, telling me I was his."

"My feelings haven't changed, Rose." He tried to take her hand, but she jerked away as if she'd been burned.

Rose's mouth narrowed into an uncharacteristic tight line, her hands clenched at each side. She closed her eyes and took a breath. "He wouldn't have left me on that ship, and would have been unimpressed by some posh French tart who had been raised from her nappies to make men feel special, whether she really fancied them or not."

This time it was the Doctor that frowned in anger. "You got jealous. After dragging around Mickey, Adam, and Jack under my nose, you're jealous?"

"I never snogged or shagged any of them, Doctor. There was nothing physical between Mickey and me, not after I met you. Is Adam really worth mentioning? As for Jack, I think you had better pick another subject. Not only did I never kiss him, I know you don't want to tell me what happened to him. The only one I ever slept with was Mickey, and not after I met you."

"Not for a lack of trying….seems like you invited him to Cardiff just for that purpose," sniped the Doctor petulantly. He knew what happened in Cardiff had changed their relationship, but he also remembered watching Rose walk away with Mickey, holding hands.

"Yeah, but in the end, it wasn't him I was with, was it? If you're the same man, you remember that we made love for hours that night and every night after that until you regenerated." Rose smiled sadly at her most treasured memories. "You used to put up this front of being grumpy, but I knew how you really felt inside. The way you looked at me when you touched me, and the way it ruined me for the touch of any other."

"I'm sorry, Rose. I'm sorry for not telling you about regeneration." The Doctor ran his hands through his hair, tugging his ear uncomfortably as he continued. "I'm sorry about not staying the same for you. I wish I could have stayed all ears and leather for you forever, Rose. Some things _have_ changed, but the way I feel about you isn't one of them. I used Sarah and Reinette, even allowing Mickey to join us as a means of trying to distance myself from what we shared."

"But why? When we went to New Earth and met Queen Victoria, we were moving in the right direction, weren't we?"

"Then I saw Sarah Jane and realized how old she was. It scared me. Still scares me. But I really meant it when I said I wouldn't do the same thing to you. You are different. I was telling you the truth when I told you I hadn't….been that close to any of my companions. What can I do?"

"I don't know. Maybe start all over. But we can't do that with Mickey here. He's been nothing but smug about you mucking things up since the Krillitanes and I can't deal with that. He thinks we might still have a chance together, but I can't. Not after….what happened before you regenerated."

The Doctor nodded in agreement. "Another trip or two for Rickey and then he goes back home?"

Rose smiled faintly at his use of her leather Doctor's nickname for her ex-boyfriend. It was one of the first clues she had about his attraction to her. "Agreed."

"Rose, I've been such a sod the past few weeks. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

Rose looked up at his new, handsome face and saw a glimpse of what she was looking for in his tortured eyes. "Just tell me you're sorry."

The Time Lord looked at her, recognizing that past turning point in their relationship and smiled, hoping that perhaps they were once again turning a corner. "I am. I'm sorry."


	3. Chapter 3- Emotions Running High

Recognizable dialog is from The Age of Steel.

"But you can't stay." Rose's stomach dropped in horror as she realized the implications of Mickey's words.

He had been her best friend for as long as she could remember. He had held her while she cried over Jimmy, and had been gentle and kind to her when they became more than friends. He couldn't leave her, too.

"Rose, my Gran's here," replied Mickey imploringly. "She's still alive. My old gran, remember her?"

"Yeah." Her voice was choked, tears threatening to fall.

"She needs me."

Rose knew it was incredibly selfish, but she couldn't stop the words from leaving her mouth if she tried. "What about me? What if I need you?"

Mickey's expression was finally one of realization and acceptance, even if the truth pained him. "Yeah, but Rose, you don't. It's just you and him, isn't it?" He turned and looked at the Doctor who quickly averted his eyes, while Rose turned away, guilt etching her features. "We had something a long time ago, but not anymore."

"Well, we'll come back." Even as she said it, she knew it to be false. "We can travel anywhere. Come and see you, yeah?"

It was the Doctor who broke her bubble of denial once and for all. Mickey was staying. She would never see him again.

Mickey extended his hand out to the Doctor, the dual meaning clear to both men. Respect despite of rivalry, and Mickey's concession as he wordlessly asked the Doctor to be good to Rose and take care of her.

"Good luck," smirked the Doctor, as he teasingly slapped the young man's face. "Mickey the Idiot." He then disappeared in the TARDIS, leaving them alone to say goodbye.

As they exchanged goodbyes, Mickey drew back to look Rose in the eyes. "I know you, Rose. Even better than he does. Whatever it is, you need to come to terms with it and tell him, one way or the other. He still loves you, Rose. Even if he's not wearing leather and staring daggers at every man that looks at you."

Rose just nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks.

As she headed into the TARDIS, Rose turned around and took one last look at her lifelong friend before closing the door. The Doctor was standing at the console, pulling levers and twisting dials when his eyes met hers. As he began the dematerialization sequence, she ran up the ramp and threw herself into the Doctor's arms, in the closest embrace she had given him since he regenerated.

The Doctor wrapped his arms around her, rubbing her back while she cried. He was grateful she was seeking comfort in his arms, but he instinctively knew whom she needed to see the most.

"Go get changed," he whispered. "We're going to visit Jackie."

They only stayed at Jackie's a couple of days before they headed into Cardiff. The TARDIS needed refueling and the Doctor needed to perform some repairs on her before they took off again.

He had royally cocked things up. Landed them in a parallel Earth, where they had to confront the ghost of Peter Tyler all over again. A Jackie Tyler that had allowed wealth and privilege to ruin her to the point that Rose's mother was a gentle saint in comparison. Even his predecessor would have agreed with that, Jackie's Hyperactive Slappy Hand notwithstanding.

Mickey had stayed behind and Rose was devastated by his loss. He had planned to take Mickey home because they needed to if he had any hope of repairing his relationship with Rose. Now even Mickey's absence had a dark shadow cast over it. Cardiff once again…the Doctor would rather be anywhere else besides here, and it had nothing to do with his opinion of Cardiff. The memories were haunting him, those of his last incarnation. If it could be said that this incarnation was pretty, then it could also be said that his former self was a passionate man. It was that same passion that made him live in the moment, and that same passion boiled over when he was faced with losing Rose, either to death or to Mickey.

He thought of sitting across the room from Rose on Platform One, quite literally a lifetime ago. Somewhere amidst the fires of regeneration, he had lost that part of himself that indignantly declared that the only thing that mattered was the here and now. He wished he had that back quite desperately, because somewhere inside of him was a Northern accent thundering at him that he should be ashamed of himself for hurting Rose the way he had.

 _"You wither and you die."_

 _"You can spend the rest of your life with me, but I can't spend the rest of mine with you."_

Then there was Madame de Pompadour. One of these days he was going to find a way to wish a mistake he had made out of existence. It had shaken that faith that Rose had in him, that he would never leave her.

The TARDIS hummed softly in his head. "Perhaps you should go and find her. She needs you now more than ever."

"Me?" he snorted. "It's not this me she wants."

In the meantime, Rose was faced with her own ghosts. In spite of her Doctor's disdain, Cardiff was a precious place to her. It was where she had stepped out in the snow in that beautiful period gown after the Doctor had told her she looked beautiful. The look on his face was one of awe, and he was the only man who had never looked at her as if all she was good for was taking off said gown.

It was where they realized they cared for each other and held hands to face the Gelth together.

It was where they crossed the increasingly blurry line from friends into lovers. It had been the happiest of times for her, that terribly short period of time where she and the Doctor, along with Jack, explored the universe together. Jack had become their friend and traveling companion, and Rose felt like he was the brother she never had. Jack would sometimes take off for a few hours in the interest of being well…Jack. They made the most of their time alone together, making love in ways that alternated between a nearly terrifying passion and overwhelming tenderness.

 _After that first night together, they had gone to the galley the next morning to make some tea and Jack came in, still bleary-eyed with sleep until he really looked at them._

 _"Thank God," he exhaled, as he sank down into a chair. "The tension was about to kill me."_

 _The Doctor shook his head, rolling his eyes a bit. Only Jack Harkness would be able to suss out who was getting a leg over whom while still half asleep. Rose merely blushed._

Rose's cycles were erratic, often intermittent, courtesy of traveling in the TARDIS. But now it had been nearly four months since the Doctor had regenerated, and she knew now that they couldn't possibly be _that_ erratic. She stared blankly across the street at a chemist shop and was about to face up to reality when a familiar voice startled her from her thoughts.

"Rosie!"

She whirled around to see an impossible sight. As though they had never been separated, and as handsome as ever in his great coat. She ran towards him and threw herself into his embrace, weeping with happiness.

"Jack! I can't believe it!"

Jack lifted her from the ground, spinning her enthusiastically. "You are far more than a sight for sore eyes, Rose!"

"But how?"

"That's a long story," he hedged. "But what about you? Are you here to refuel?"

"Yeah, just had a mishap where we ended up in a parallel universe on a parallel Earth. The Doctor's making some repairs while we're here." Rose's train of thought halted as her mind went blank. "The Doctor regenerated." She started to cry.

"I know….hey, what's wrong with my girl?"

"It's just been so hard since he regenerated. He's different. We haven't been…." She gave Jack a brief glance to convey her meaning. "Some things are still the same, even says he still feels the same about me. But some things happened, some things that wouldn't have happened before, and then Mickey stayed in the parallel universe, and I'm scared to death and can't talk to anyone about it!" Rose stared up at him in realization. "You, though. I can tell you. You knew about the Doctor and me, before he changed."

Jack put an arm around Rose's shoulders, and his tone was not his usual flirtatious one. "What is it, Rose? What's so bad that you can't tell the Doctor about it?"

Tears streamed down her face. "It would be a bit different if he were still the same….but can we go somewhere private? I need to stop in that chemist shop over there."

Jack took her hand as they crossed the street. "What do we need from the chemist shop?"

Rose's face burned with embarrassment and fright. "I think I'm pregnant, Jack. In fact, I don't even know why I'm bothering with this stupid test."

Jack's jaw dropped at her revelation. His tale would have to wait. "Don't worry about a thing. We can take it to my flat where you can have some privacy. Then we can trade stories if you like."

Rose nodded at him numbly in agreement as they entered the shop.

Several hours later, Rose was pacing in Jack's flat, her thoughts nothing but chaotic emotions. The test was positive, as she well suspected. She vacillated between being frightened and being overjoyed at having a child of the only man she had ever really been in love with.

Fright and joy turned to sorrow and guilt when she realized what had happened to Jack and she suspected it was because of her. Immortal, and she was nearly positive it was her fault. Then all of these roller coaster emotions coalesced into fury as she headed towards the door, Jack hastily following in her wake.

The Doctor was worried about Rose's prolonged absence. Both of their forays in this city had proven you could get into a world of trouble, even in Cardiff. Rose was the most jeopardy friendly person he had ever known. He was pulling on his long brown coat when the door of the TARDIS flung open and the Time Lord visibly flinched. His expression was nothing short of horror as he stared at the former Time Agent, and it was all he could do not to flee the man's presence.

Rose had returned, cheeks blazing in what he was quite sure was anger and it was directed at him. Standing next to her was Captain Jack Harkness, his face devoid of his usual enthusiasm.

Rose pointed at the man who had been her best friend, lover, and the father of her child. "I think it's time you answered my questions, Doctor. I'd like to know how you thought it was okay to leave Jack, _our friend_ , back on a bloody satellite full of corpses."


	4. Chapter 4- Accountability

_The Doctor insisted on the left side of the bed. He wasn't intending to sleep, of course. But he was staying in her room for the night, and he planned to stay between her and the door. He knew it wasn't necessary, and that the dashing con man had received his message loud and clear. He wasn't going to admit to Rose that his world had become a bit unbalanced with that display in the control room, either._

 _He didn't want to let her go. One dance wasn't enough to make his point to Jack, not to him. The TARDIS began to play increasingly slower, more romantic pieces until he was doing almost nothing but swaying, holding Rose more closely than he had ever dared to. He was rubbish with words, but he wanted to tell Rose that he did, indeed, dance. He was nearly drunk on her scent, as her body made it clear that she didn't mind what they were doing one bit._

 _This body was different than any he had ever had. The last of an extinct species, this incarnation came complete with a sex drive that he had yet to indulge. He needed, he wanted, and his object of intense desire was Rose Tyler. It was both exhilarating and terrifying, his feelings for her. The object of his worst nightmares, for the TARDIS was becoming increasingly domestic. Any fool could see that their argument in 1987 was a lovers' quarrel. The worst part of that is that they weren't even lovers. But he wanted her, and had no clue how to tell her._

 _The conversation in the basement of Albion Hospital was a welcome relief to him because he could steer the conversation into territory that he desperately wanted to explore. It became a matter of specific urgency with the presence of Jack Harkness._

 _Rose looked up at him with sleepy eyes as he sat quietly in her bed, back propped up against the headboard with a book. He looked nearly naked without his usual armor of weathered black leather and heavy boots._

 _"Is this Captain Envy again, or do you feel a need to guard my virtue?"_

 _"Yes," he replied._

 _"That's not an answer, Doctor."_

 _"I know," he said, meeting her gaze with a knowing grin of his own. "Besides, he's a flexible 51st century guy. The real question is whose virtue is being guarded here?" His tone remained merry, and not at all serious. There was no question about who was being guarded._

 _Rose gazed at him, tugging one of his hands from his book, holding it between both of her warm ones. Amber eyes locked with blue. "It's alright, Doctor. Jack is nice. Jack is someone you could have fun with, if you were of a mind. But Jack is not the sort you stay with forever."_

 _His gaze narrowed, his hearts began to gallop in his chest, as he caught her meaning. She well remembered his question, and her answer._

 _"How long are you going to stay with me?"_

Another dream of him. This time, of a real event. It would only seem right that she would dream about that night, given that she had run into Jack.

She had watched the Doctor face down Daleks and Cybermen and the Mighty Jagrafess. None of those enemies had put the look of terror on his face that he had worn when she arrived back at the TARDIS, with Jack in tow.

"I think it's time you answered my questions, Doctor. I'd like to know how you thought it was okay to leave Jack, _our friend,_ back on a bloody satellite full of corpses."

The Doctor backed away and he didn't know what was more frightening, Jack's presence like 40 grit sandpaper against his time senses or the menacing fury on Rose's face.

"I want answers, Doctor. I want to know if I did this. You won't tell me what happened on the Gamestation. Telling me you sang a song isn't going to cut it this time."

The Time Lord looked down at the grating and took a deep breath in resignation. Really, it wasn't right to continue to keep this from her.

"You were the Bad Wolf, Rose. It was all you."

"I remember all the times we saw or heard those words, Doctor. Like they were following us everywhere."

"That's because they were a message that you had scattered to lead yourself back."

"That's a charming metaphor, Doctor," replied an increasingly frustrated Jack. "But if we're quite done recounting the Hansel and Gretel part of this story, I'd like to get to where I find out why I can't die."

"That's why, Jack. The Bad Wolf brought you back. You were dead. I was about to use the delta wave, but I couldn't. Not again. Then the TARDIS dematerialized, and Rose stepped out, in a swirl of golden light." He turned to Rose. "You were glowing, your eyes were golden. You had absorbed the entire Time Vortex and that made you literally a goddess of endless power. You dissolved the entire Dalek fleet, including their emperor, and then you resurrected Jack. I felt it happen. His death was a fixed point in time, but the Bad Wolf wouldn't have it."

"You knew I was alive, Doctor. You knew, and you left me there. Just like Rose said….I was ankle deep in Dalek dust and on a satellite full of corpses." Jack pointed at the Time Lord.

"I was about to regenerate. Jackie, Mickey, and Rose used a big recovery truck to open the console. The TARDIS, as you know, is alive. Even now, just sitting here, she's aware of your presence, Jack. I don't know why she hasn't reacted yet, but she hasn't. But I was going to regenerate and having you in the TARDIS was a liability."

"Okay, you were about to regenerate," interrupted Rose. "Why couldn't we go back for him? He was our friend, Doctor. He fought those Daleks in your name, for the both of us. He died for us. I think I would have rather went to get Jack rather than wind up on New Earth just to be mind raped by a lunatic skin flap. Why?"

"I just couldn't, Rose." He bowed his head and then looked at Jack. "I'm sorry. I can't fix you, either."

"I thought that would be your answer."

"Is this like Sarah Jane, Doctor?" Her voice was becoming increasingly angry. "Was that his Aberdeen? I know it can't be jealousy. Not even the last you would have been so jealous."

"Rose, I'm not saying it was right…."

"Damn right it wasn't right, Doctor. And you kept it from me, all these months. He's a friend, the closest thing to a brother I've ever had, and the three of us were happy traveling together."

"I don't know how to explain it to you, Rose…" His eyes were tortured.

"Why? Because I'm just a stupid ape who can't understand?" she spat. "It can't be because he was going to _wither and die_ and you would have to watch, now was it?"

"It isn't any of that!" he thundered. "It's my time senses, Rose. He's a fixed point. Time just flows over him and past him, and he never moves, never changes. It just feels….wrong. Like a frequency that is out of our hearing range, but would bother nearby animals."

"I don't care! It was Jack! He saved my life, and saved yours, too. We saved him in return." Tears started to flow down Rose's cheeks. "Would you have left me there, if I had been the one who felt wrong?"

The Doctor's face paled. "No….I would have found a way."

"There's a surprise," muttered Jack. "Got used to playing gooseberry with you two a long time ago."

"You should have found a way for Jack, too," said Rose. "Instead he spent decades in a century far out of his time, waiting for a chance to find us again." She started to barrel towards the corridor, out of the control room. "There isn't an excuse, Doctor," she shot back over her shoulder.

Jack leaned against one of the coral struts. "You can hardly stand to look at me."

"I'm sorry, Jack. This isn't your fault. It's my nature. I'm a Time Lord, and that means far more than just being able to pilot the TARDIS."

"I don't want your apologies. In fact, I'm leaving. We can hash this out later because you have bigger fish to fry. You have to fix things with Rose because she needs you now more than ever."

Panic crossed the Doctor's face. "What is wrong with Rose?"

"Nothing's wrong with her, Doctor. But you regenerating, it's been hard on her. She's haunted by what you used to share with her, and she's tied to you now. If you hadn't changed,"

"Oh, I have had it up to _here_ with what wouldn't have happened if I hadn't regenerated. If I hadn't regenerated, Rose would be dead, because the Vortex would have _killed her_! I did it willingly, because it was Rose, and I would do it again if I had to."

"Does she know that?"

"No…no, no. I never wanted her to realize….it's been hard enough for her."

"Doctor, I'm just thinking about Rose. She nearly died to save us both, and you think we might be a bit more grateful. But you two….you fix things between the two of you, because I can't see you throwing it away. At the risk of bringing it up again, Rose says you haven't been sleeping together, not since you regenerated. You need to talk to her."

"Why?" asked the Time Lord. "What do you know?"

"Something that isn't my truth to tell, Doctor. If you were still intimate, you would already know. Talk to Rose. Fix it, Doctor. Isn't that what you do? You do your best to fix things. Rose needs you to fix things. I'll be back in the morning because I want to say goodbye to Rose." Jack turned on his heel and headed out the door, his long blue coat swirling about his ankles as he walked away.

The Doctor flopped down on the jumpseat, confused and stunned. He had been wrong not to tell Rose what happened. What he had done to Jack had been wrong too. He could almost hear Rose telling him, _"and no posh alien morality you can offer up is an excuse, Doctor."_ She was right about that, too.

"What should I do?" he shouted at the TARDIS.

"I told you to find her. I said she needed you now more than ever."

"More enigmatic speeches, first from Jack, now even from my own ship. How do I stop hurting her? How do I stop mucking things up?"

"You start by talking to her and opening your hearts to her as you did before." The Doctor was stunned into uncharacteristic silence for some time. He ransacked his brain, trying to figure out his next move.

A soft voice startled him from his solitary stupor. "Where's Jack?" Rose stood in her pajamas, sleep still leaving its signs on her face.

"He left. He said he would be back in the morning." The Doctor's eyes were almost unfocused for a moment before he finally turned to Rose and looked at her. "He said you have something to tell me, something that he couldn't tell. I know I've already made a disaster of things, but if my own ship is telling me you need me-"

"Wait, the TARDIS knows?"

"What does the TARDIS know, Rose? She was trying to tell me earlier but I thought you wanted to be alone."

"That I'm pregnant." She cleared her throat. "I've not had any cycles since you regenerated, Doctor. I took a test and it was positive. And it can't be anyone else's baby except yours."


	5. Chapter 5- Making Amends

He had nearly run to the infirmary, tugging Rose behind him after she told him the news.

Manic joy spread across his face when found the new life growing inside of her. "There it is! No heartbeat just yet, but that's to be expected with a Gallifreyan pregnancy."

"No heartbeat? How is that okay?"

"Well, you're barely out of your first trimester. Gallifreyan pregnancies are different. The first trimester is dedicated to writing the complicated DNA to form the embryo. The remaining three trimesters progress more or less like a human pregnancy does."

"Wait a minute, Doctor," said Rose, wide-eyed with shock. "I'm going to be pregnant an entire year? Just how big am I going to get? Ugh, what is it with the lot of you and twelve months? How can I hope to deliver a child after-"

"Wait a tick. It's like I said," the Doctor raised his hand to halt her tirade. "No increase in size in the first trimester. You probably won't need maternity clothing until you're at least six months along."

"How did the TARDIS know?"

"You and the TARDIS have a bit of a connection now, you know. She can sense things about its inhabitants that you can't. That's why she didn't react when Jack was on board. She didn't want to do anything rash because of the baby. Otherwise she might have dragged us to the end of the universe."

Rose placed her hands over her still flat abdomen. "I'm going to be a mum."

Joy lit the Doctor's features as he placed his hand on top of Rose's in a fit of daring. "You're going to be a gorgeous, brilliant mum, Rose."

"And you're not upset?" She met his eyes warily.

"Blimey, Rose. Why would I be upset about this? It's not like you did it all your own. And judging from the scan, I can pinpoint when the conception took place. Kyoto. It had to have been Kyoto."

At this, tears streamed down Rose's cheeks. That was the last time they had been together. After leaving Kyoto, they were taken to the Gamestation, and it all went pear-shaped from there.

"I'm sorry, Rose. I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault," sobbed Rose. "I know now it's mine. I looked into the Time Vortex and you had to take it out."

The Time Lord tenderly cupped her cheek. "You saved me, Rose Tyler. In more ways than you can count. If you hadn't come back for me, I would have died and not regenerated. I just needed you to be safe, Rose. I know I've messed up so many things, but I don't want you to feel alone in this."

She swiped at her cheek with the back of her hand. "What on Earth are we gonna tell Mum?"

He winced, and then held his hand up to his right cheek. "It hurt!"

"I don't want to tell her yet. For one, I'm not looking forward to watching her have a cat over it. I'm still furious at you about Jack. That you could just leave him like that….I just can't say it enough. It was wrong."

"I know. This body seems to be really good at running. Running away, anyway. But I won't run away from this, Rose. Or you. Not again."

The grief in her eyes was nearly too much for him to bear. She shuddered for a moment, as if to throw off the intense emotions that were overwhelming her. "Time, Doctor. But you're right. You can't keep running away. I know what it's like to grow up without a father. I don't want that for the baby."

Rose had returned to her room and the Doctor was left alone with his thoughts. He needed help and he knew what he had to do. It was almost like a dream state, this communicating with one's own self. Not really asleep, and yet not really awake. But the Doctor felt he had no choice, he needed advice and only one of his incarnations could offer it to him in regards to Rose.

 _His mind was like the library aboard the TARDIS, as he sat across a chess table from his Ninth self. The Ninth Doctor sat back, practically lounging in the chair, an indolent air about him that belied his intense nature._

 _"So, you need advice about Rose? I've been trying to tell you and you weren't listening, pretty boy."_

 _"Oi! You become me, you know."_

 _"I know that. Why do you think you look like that? I had to change, and so I tried to control it. But perhaps I should have focused less on appearance and more on the mental aspect because you are cocking things up." The leather clad Doctor glared at his successor, his annoyance undisguised._

 _"Look, I feel the same way about Rose as you did. She's the most important person in the entire Universe to me. And now you- YOU got her pregnant! I looked in the mirror, satisfied with what I saw. Thought it would be easy. Turns out she liked you with big ears and that Roman nose. Tough act to follow, and everyone sees fit from Rose to Jack, even Mickey the Idiot-" The Tenth Doctor tugged on his ear in frustration._

 _"About Rickey, why did you take him along? It was clear Rose didn't want you to!"_

 _"Blimey, he invited himself and you invited him first. Not my fault that he waited a few months to accept the invitation."_

 _"Things had changed since then and you know it. Admit it. You were trying to push her away. And for what? You're supposed to be me, and yet you don't understand Rose at all. You let her be a dinner lady in that cafeteria while you giggled like a loon over Sarah Jane. Then if that weren't enough, you had to witter on with that gob of yours over how accomplished Madame de Pompadour was. Don't you understand anything?" He gestured wildly in the general direction of Rose's bedroom. "Rose, growing up on a council estate with her Cockney accent, didn't get her A-Levels, and you're going on about a French courtesan. Rose doesn't have to have A-Levels to be the brightest person in the room. Sometimes she's even brighter than we are. She cottoned on to all of that business with Madame de Pompadour and sussed out immediately that she was raised from the cradle to make men feel special. You were going to bring that glorified concubine aboard the TARDIS in front of the mother of our child?"_

 _The pinstriped Doctor's face paled in realization. "I didn't think. Growing up poor, she felt inadequate in front of those women,"_

 _"Getting it now, are we? I spent all those months convincing Rose that she was special and important. But that's not all. She has abandonment issues. We're the first man she's ever really trusted that wouldn't leave her. Don't you remember? In spite of that fight we had in 1987, she knew I wouldn't leave her. What a gift that was, that trust from someone who had those sort of issues. Her father died when she was a baby, and all she learned from the men her mother went out with is that they leave and don't come back."_

 _"Alright, I get it! Jimmy Stone, and then I go crashing through on that horse and she didn't know if I would return for her. Right after I had sworn to her that she could stay with me," Carding his fingers through his thick hair, he huffed in annoyance. "What do I do?"_

 _"Well, she knows the worst now. No doubt the baby is the reason she found herself wandering Cardiff and ran into Jack. It wasn't right, you know. I understand why you didn't go back for him, but Rose was right. We wouldn't have done that to her, and so there isn't a good excuse for doing it to Jack."_

 _"How do I live in the moment? I'm bombarded by the future, and-"_

 _"Don't you think there's a couple of things more important than your martyrdom? Curse of the Time Lords." The Ninth Doctor snorted at this. "Stop your whinging and put Rose first. At this rate, you're going to have to start over. Make her feel important again."_

As the Doctor emerged from his trance, he wondered if the ghost of his own self would ever stop coming between him and the woman he loved. If his last incarnation hadn't crossed that line with Rose, it probably would have made his life much easier.

The next morning, Jack bid them goodbye and the Doctor put his plan into action. Sporting a 1950's quiff, he practically danced to the galley where he found Rose eating some strawberries and yogurt with her cereal.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, beaming brightly.

"I feel fine. How come I don't have morning sickness? Mum said she threw up every day for nearly six months with me."

"Every woman is different, Rose. You might not get sick at all. And that's good to eat cereal. That one has plenty of folic acid. I'm going to do a full work up on your blood and make sure you and the baby are getting all the nutrients you need." The Doctor sat down at the table next to her, and proceeded to pile the jam on his toast.

"Why are you wearing your hair like that?"

"I've always thought you were the brightest person in the room, Rose Tyler. There's a very, very good reason for all that, Rose. How would you like to go see Elvis?"

Her delighted smile was all the answer he needed.


	6. Chapter 6- Dreams Turn to Ashes

Time passed. They grew closer. She fell in love with him all over again. He began to overcome his fears of losing her to death. Their baby was a big incentive for him, because he found boundless joy in the idea of being a father again. His love for her, and his joy in their child leapt over that obstacle. Yet they were both giddy with happiness and terrified at the same time.

Rose was Human. She couldn't help but compartmentalize the two men. They had the same memories, and the same feelings, and yet….the two incarnations were different men. She grew to love her bouncy, wild haired Doctor with the endless gob, and ready grin. Yet she never stopped loving her first Doctor, with the steely, sexual gaze, sarcastic wit, and his gruff exterior that concealed his loving hearts. She rather hoped her baby would look like him. For that man was hidden away forever, and she wanted part of him. She realized how her mother felt when her father died, and how she loved and protected Rose because she was the only thing she had of Pete after his death.

The one thing her Doctors shared in common was their temper. The Oncoming Storm. She finally saw the evidence of that when her face was stolen by the Wire. Even after she had been restored to him, his incandescent anger and fear for her and the baby was palpable. It went a long way in reassuring Rose that he still cared for her.

Trouble found them, no matter how the Doctor tried to steer away from it for the sake of the baby's safety. They were deeply unsettled by the events of the impossible planet, and the words of the Beast, no matter how the Doctor reassured her.

The Doctor said the Beast lied. He would not allow Rose and their baby to die. His senses told him they would be safe, that they would not be killed in battle. Rather than indulge his fears of what the future held, he learned to live in the moment. He had plans for them. Nearly three months later, they had not yet told Jackie about the baby. But the time for hiding that news had come to an end when Rose came into the console room one morning, denims unfastened.

"We have to go shopping," Rose declared with a frustrated huff. "I can change into some trousers, but it won't be long before nothing fits. I suppose it's time to go face the music with Mum, too."

The Doctor swallowed hard at the thought of Jackie Tyler's wrath.

"Just one more trip?" he pleaded. "Then we'll go to Jackie's, I promise. I can sonic your clothing for now, you know. Make it bigger on the inside."

"Just what every girl wants to hear. 'Let me make your clothing bigger for you because you're too big to fit into your denims."

"You're beautiful. You've never been more beautiful to me than you are now, Rose Tyler." He cradled her face in his hands, and Rose thought she had never seen such incredible love in his eyes than she did in that moment.

Tears started to stream down her face and she wiped them away, embarrassed. "These stupid hormones, making me all emotional."

"Happy emotions?" the Doctor queried hopefully.

"Yeah," she agreed with a wan smile.

They stood on a planet, far away from Earth. The Doctor slipped his arms around Rose's waist and rested his hands on the small swell of her abdomen where their child rested. Watching flying manta rays under an orange sun, the Doctor asked the question he had not asked since Woman Wept.

"How long are you going to stay with me?"

Rose turned in his embrace to look at him and smiled. "Forever."

They finally shared their first kiss under that sky, and walked back towards the TARDIS hand in hand.

The Doctor had been cautious up to this point, but he was finally ready to move to the next step. Being in the shadow of his former self had been a humbling experience. He should have known Rose wouldn't be shallow enough to be drawn in by a younger exterior.

They stepped out of the TARDIS, holding hands gleefully as they walked towards Jackie's flat. No matter how much Rose protested, he insisted on carrying her bag himself. He grinned wildly at her, as he looked at their hands swinging between them.

"Should I live through this experience, I plan to take you somewhere special."

"Oh, really?" Rose replied. "Still trying to prove how impressive you are?"

"I'm always impressive!" he retorted, feigning offense.

"Oh, I dunno, Doctor. I'm not a time and space newbie anymore." They were giggling as they approached the doorway of Jackie's flat.

All talk of plans came to a screeching halt. Initially it was because of Jackie's enthusiastic greetings. The Doctor wasn't sure that he wasn't better off when Rose's mum was slapping him, as he wiped his face in disgust.

All plans to tell Jackie about the baby were forgotten once Jackie told Rose her Granddad was coming over to visit. At first, Rose thought her mother was off her rocker, but the Doctor smelled trouble in the air. The "ghosts" were everywhere.

The unthinkable happened. They all wound up at Torchwood, even Jackie. All of the Cybermen from the parallel universe had crossed over into their universe. Add millions of Daleks unleashed on a helpless Earth, and it was a scene from the Doctor's worst nightmares. Everything he had done had been for naught. The Gamestation had shown him that he would never be rid of them, ever.

Then Rose realized what the Beast had meant. Not a literal death, but a figurative one. She only had so much space in her heart, and all of it belonged to the Doctor, both past and present. That heart was breaking as her fists uselessly beat the walls of the Torchwood in the parallel universe.

She sobbed inconsolably as she pressed her face to the wall, wondering if she could sense any echo from him. Mickey, Pete, and Jackie watched her emotional anguish with solemn faces as Rose tried to deny that she was truly trapped with no way back.

"He'll….he'll come for me. We wound up here before, he can do it again."

"But what if he doesn't, Rose?" asked Jackie. "What if he can't? What will you do then?"

Rose squared her shoulders. "You don't understand, Mum. I can't stay here. I just….can't."

"But what if I had never seen you again, Rose? You're my daughter, and-"

She laughed, but it was completely humorless. "I never got to tell you the news. There was a reason we came back today, Mum."

Jackie's eyes widened in horror because she knew what her daughter was about to say.

Heedless of Pete and Mickey's presence, Rose looked her mother in the eyes. "You see why I can't stay here, Mum. I never knew my father, Mum. Except for those brief moments that the Doctor took me back to see him, I never really got to know him." She lowered her hand to her belly, pressing softly against the small protrusion. "I don't want that for my son."

Jackie broke down as a myriad of emotions coursed through her. "I always knew you were in love with him, Rose. Even when he was the rude one in the leather…" Rose broke down and slid to the floor, leaning against the white wall as Jackie sank down next to her, holding her while she sobbed.

"Perhaps _especially_ when he was the one in the leather," muttered Mickey. "That's what you were hiding, weren't you, Rose? It's been three years for me, but it's only been a few months for you."

"I wasn't sure yet, Mickey. You know what was going on before we wound up landing over here."

Three years had been enough time for Mickey Smith to place his feelings for Rose Tyler where they belonged, in the past. He still cared for her, but he was no longer a man in denial of his place in Rose's heart.

"I know things are emotional right now," interjected Pete, who had remained utterly silent the entire time. "But what do you mean by 'the one in the leather'?"

"I never told you, Pete," replied Mickey. "That was one of the biggest quirks of the Doctor. Being a Time Lord and all, he could regenerate. If he was dying, he could rewrite all of his cells. End result was a new man. Different everything….except both of them were in love with Rose. When we first met him, he looked different. The Doctor you met looked like he was in his early 30s, had all that hair, wore trainers with his suit. When we first met the Doctor, he looked like he was in his 40s. Looked like one of those scary ex-military types. He was funny looking, all ears and nose, and this crazy smile."

Rose looked up at her ex-boyfriend, eyes flashing. "Not another word about his looks. He was gorgeous then, too."

"The baby belongs to the first Doctor, doesn't it, Rose?" Mickey's query was gentle, without recrimination.

Rose choked and nodded, but Jackie gasped in horror.

"You were shagging him, even then? He looked like he was old enough to be your father, Rose."

"I loved him then, Mum. I love him now. And this," she gestured to the wall that was now a figurative representation of the Void. "This is not happening. He'll come for me. Or I'll get back to him." Her face was an odd combination of anguished misery and hard determination. She shook her head.

"Oh my God! My grandbaby is going to be half-alien!"

"The Doctor looks just like we do, Mum. The differences are ones you can't see."

Pete looked at the two women who were both his wife and daughter, and yet not. They were cast adrift, in a universe where they had no home and no identity.

"We should go. We can do all the talking we need to back at my home." He smiled kindly, extending a hand to Jackie, and then Rose as he helped them from the floor.

Rose turned around, and stared at the wall once again. Her shoulders began to shake, and the enormity of what was happening began to overwhelm her. A familiar arm came around her shoulder and she saw the handsome face of her oldest friend. Mickey was different now, she could tell. She was proud of the stand he made against the Cybermen the first time, and loved him even more for coming to her rescue today.

"It's gonna be alright, Rose. Pete's the boss around here, and we'll get you back home. Just you wait and see."

On the other side of the Void, a Time Lord pressed his face against the wall at Torchwood. He wasn't sure he wasn't hearing things, but he thought he could hear the faint howl echo through his senses.

The Doctor turned around and walked back to the TARDIS without looking back. He managed to take the TARDIS into the Vortex before he finally collapsed against a coral strut. Far, far away from this cursed place, he thought before he pulled a small box out of his pocket. The Time Lord sobbed as he opened the box. Inside was a ring, made from his precious stock of Gallifreyan metals, a twisted design comprised the band, both white and rose metals. It was topped by another rarity from his planet, a breathtaking diamond from Gallifrey known as a White-Point Star. Engraved inside the band was simply "My Rose". His dreams always turned to ashes. He thought of Rose and their unborn son, trapped away from him, and began to sob pitifully for their broken hearts.


	7. Chapter 7- Determination

_Rose opened her eyes to hear the beautiful sound of a familiar Northern burr next to her._

 _"You lot, constantly sleeping a third of your life away."_

 _"I think that's partly your fault, Doctor." She struggled to turn over and face him. "I'm on bed rest because of the baby, you know. Turns out Human women aren't meant to be pregnant for a year."_

 _"I'm sorry, Rose. I didn't know it could happen like that. I suppose it has to do with the death of my race. No more Looms to reproduce, so this body must have come with all parts working for reproduction."_

 _"So your um….manly bits didn't work before?"_

 _"Oi!" he cried, looking affronted. "Didn't we have this conversation before? I'd say I'm a Humanoid male, but it's really the other way around. You look like us. I was 'shooting blanks' before. I think that's the phrase I'm looking for. And Humans, being the compatible little buggars that you are, can reproduce with nearly everyone. In any case, Rose Tyler, you need to rest. You've been running yourself ragged since you arrived here."_

 _"I'm looking for a way back, Doctor. I swore that I would."_

 _"I believe you, Rose Tyler. But you're going to have to stay on the slow path for just a while longer. Pete, Rickey, and the scientists at Torchwood can work on it. You and the baby are more important, Rose."_

 _"Why do I always dream about this you? Except for when he managed to reach me telepathically across the Void, my dreams are of you."_

The _Doctor smiled, shaking his head. "I'm still there, hidden away inside of him. Not to mention that you're Human. You conceived our son with this me, and you never became intimate with that custom-made pretty boy I regenerated into."_

 _"Custom made?"_

 _"Yeah," he replied with a manic grin. "You're going to wake up soon, Rose. I'm glad you have your family to look after you for now. I believe in you, precious girl. Our story is still being written."_

"Rose? Rose?"

Rose squinted at the sunlight that was pouring into her bedroom suite to see Mickey standing over her.

"Mmm…..what is it, Mickey?

"Jackie sent me up here to see if you wanted a tray brought up for breakfast."

"I really want some chips."

"All that salt isn't good for your blood pressure, Rose," answered Mickey with a smile. "Pete is busy looking after Jacks, so it's my job to make sure you stay in bed and eat things besides chips and chocolate."

"Alright, alright. I'll have some cereal with Greek yogurt and blueberries," Rose sighed.

"That's more like it," grinned Mickey. "You need to take care of my nephew in there. And you need to take care of yourself. You only have another month to go, right?"

"Yeah. Never did I ever think I'd be pregnant for a year," groused Rose, as she raised her mattress to a full sitting position. Pete had pampered both mother and daughter during their pregnancies, purchasing luxurious adjustable beds that rivaled Rose's bed on the TARDIS.

"That's what you get for shagging an alien. You stay there, Rose." He pointed his finger at her as he headed out of her room.

Rose padded into her en suite and looked in the mirror. She felt like an elephant. After it was clear that Rose was stuck until the dimension cannon could be perfected, Mickey had been sweet and supportive. He exuded a new confidence, one that rivaled Jack's, but without all of the sexual peccadilloes. He was an accomplished Torchwood operative and Pete's right hand. They had had a brief conversation in which Mickey asked when the baby was conceived, but he was satisfied when she assured him she didn't sleep with the Doctor until after their argument in Cardiff. In the meantime, he had been happily playing the role of Uncle Mickey to the hilt.

She cradled her baby bump and as she lowered her head, tears began to fall silently. "Soon you'll be born, sweet boy. Then your Mummy can start on the business of getting us back home, and back to your daddy. I know he said it was impossible, but he's an alien. He never figured on me being stubborn enough to return to him at the Gamestation. You'd think he would already know that Rose Tyler isn't above defying every law of time and space."

The Doctor and Donna Noble sat at the doors of the TARDIS, legs dangling out the door as they took in the multicolored beauty of the expanse of stars before them. She had come back almost immediately after initially turning down his offer and the Time Lord was grateful for that.

At first, he sought out Sarah Jane. Rose had begged him on the beach- to find Sarah Jane or Jack. She didn't want him to be alone. Sarah's opinion on traveling with him again remained unchanged. But the Doctor stayed at Sarah Jane's nearly a month after the fiery Donna had swept in and out of his life. He needed a friend to talk to, confide in. Finally he headed to Cardiff, where he was certain that Jack would turn up.

He offered a place back on the TARDIS as a peace offering for abandoning him. But the Doctor also knew that despite Jack's flirtations, that he wasn't truly interested in making good on it. It was what he needed, a friend who knew Rose and understood about their relationship. Eventually, Jack returned to his team at Torchwood Cardiff. The Doctor was somewhat relieved that at least part of Torchwood was not sullied by the likes of someone like Yvonne Hartman.

"So tell me about this Rose, Doctor? What made her interested in a skinny pretty boy like yourself in the first place?"

The Doctor chuckled. His dearest friend was always needling him about his thin, lanky frame. "Wellll, to be honest, I didn't always look like this? Rose and I fell in love when I was a different man."

"You're gonna have to explain that, spaceman. Are Time Lords some sort of shape shifter? Can they make themselves look different on a whim?"

Sighing, the Doctor pulled out one of his most prized possessions. At the time, he played at being grumpy about such a candid moment caught forever. "Jack Harkness took this without our even knowing about it shortly before I regenerated."

"You mean that handsome bloke with all the dimples?"

"Careful, Donna. You quite literally have no way of knowing everywhere he's been."

Donna peered closely at the photograph, slightly dog eared at the edges. A lovely blonde young woman stood in front of a tall man in a leather jacket. Little more than a girl, she had turned her head slightly to look at the blue eyed man who had wrapped his arms around her waist and was looking down at her with a mixture of awe and passion.

" _That's_ what you looked like before? Look at those eyes and that leather jacket. You were just…rawr."

"Oi, Donna! Look at the ears and nose."

"Who cares, Martian? Looks like Rose didn't in the slightest."

"She didn't," he mumbled. His head was bowed and he ran his fingers through his wild tufts of hair. "She had a hard time with regeneration at first. It's all my fault for not telling her. Between her initial hesitance and the new fears I was born with, namely her abysmally short human life span, we had to work on things. Just as we were finally ready to take the next step, she was trapped in the parallel universe. I spent weeks trying to get to her, Donna. Finally, I had to settle on just having a chance to say goodbye to her. That's where you came in."

Donna linked her arm with the Doctor's in sympathy. "I just appeared here right after you had told her goodbye? You were such a mess."

"I'm still a mess. The only hope I have of ever laying eyes on Rose or our son is the vow she made on that beach. She swore she would find me, Donna."

"Doctor, I've never met the woman, but from what you've told me, she is determined. One of these days, you'll open the TARDIS door, and she'll be there, I'm certain of it. You can spout all the spaceman nonsense you want about it being impossible, but there's a lot more to being smart than just what you study in books. In the meantime, you have me. I'll argue with you about who can and can't be saved. Try to get you eat something that'll put some meat on your bones instead of just sugar. Not like you're not hyper enough without all that jam you eat. When you need stopping, I'll be here to help you stop."

Jackie was busy, what with the learning how to manage a larger household. Pete's household staff were initially stunned to see "Jackie" returned, but once they learned how gracious she was in comparison to the former lady of the house, they thought no more of it.

She fussed and worried over Rose, despite the fact she was the one who was 40 and pregnant. Still on bed rest, Rose relished the times when her mum, Pete, Mickey, or even Jake Symmonds would come to visit her. Pete had commissioned his most trusted private physician to care for Rose at his estate, knowing the nature of her child wasn't something they wanted public.

Today it was her mum that came in to keep her company while the interminable wait drew to a close. Blunt as always, Jackie cut straight to the chase.

"Mickey says after you've recovered from the baby, you're gonna go back to Torchwood and work on that cannon."

"Yes, of course I am, Mum. I thought you knew that," Rose replied firmly. She dreaded when her mother became like this.

"But what about the baby, Rose?"

"He'll come with me when the time comes, Mum. No way am I leaving him here."

"But Rose," Jackie pleaded, "Don't you think you could find a proper husband and father for your child? With Pete's money and your beauty…."

"Ugh, my first Doctor said it always boiled down to money," replied Rose tartly, shaking her head. "Even five billion years in our future, my first Doctor and I stood and watched the sun expand. The Earth, our Earth, died that day, became nothing but rocks and dust because nature finally took its course. Meanwhile, an evil socialite that had had so many plastic surgeries until she was nothing but skin with eyeballs and ugly lipstick, stretched in a trampoline- she was conspiring to create a hostage situation with the guests who had come to bid the Earth farewell. Nothing admirable about that at all, Mum. I sure as hell don't think it's admirable to hope some man will want me just because I have money and a pretty face."

"I didn't mean it _that_ way, Rose. You know I didn't. It's nice, not having to worry about money and stuff, but I don't ever want to become one of those posh little twits that think everyone should lick their feet."

"The Doctor fell in love with a simple former shop girl, who grew up on a council estate, and hardly had a quid to her name. He was brilliant, a genius, and could have had his choice. But he loved me- Rose Tyler." Suddenly Rose turned fierce, glowing eyes towards her mother. They were unnaturally golden for a moment. "I love the Doctor. I'll _never_ love any other man besides the Doctor. No other man will touch me again."

Jackie's face was paralyzed with fear as Rose continued her tirade and then as if it had never been, her eyes returned to their normal amber shade.

"Rose," she whispered.

"I have to go back to the loo. I'm looking forward to the day my baby can't use me as his own personal bouncy house." She struggled to get to her feet and started for the en suite and abruptly stopped. Liquid trickled down her leg onto the hardwood floor and Rose turned anxious eyes to her mother.

"I….I think my water just broke," she stammered nervously.

With an alien pregnancy, no one really knew what to expect, but things went surprisingly smoothly. Of course, at first, Jackie was hysterical, calling Pete and Mickey, telling them to come home immediately. "Enough of Torchwood for now, you two. We have a _real_ alien sighting about to happen here." She shrieked at him to hurry up and then promptly ended the call.

Soon after that, Pete's physician, Dr. Wells showed up. Little more than five hours later, Rose was crying tears of joy, the first joy she had really known since being trapped there. He was absolutely perfect, and she laid the softest kiss on his forehead. He had a soft wisp of sable hair and beautiful blue eyes. Jackie, along with Pete and Mickey came in to see the new arrival up close for the first time.

"He looks like his daddy," she beamed. "Those blue eyes. I hope they stay blue."

Jackie reached out her arms and Rose handed her new son to her mother. "My first grandbaby. He's beautiful, Rose."

"What are you gonna call him, Rose?" asked Mickey, who was looking over Jackie's shoulder to get a look at the newborn.

Rose gifted them with a nearly beatific smile. "I decided this months ago. Just didn't tell anyone about it. His name is John Michael Tyler. His father often uses John as an alias on Earth. Michael is for his Uncle Mickey. But I'm going to call him Jack for short."

Mickey was grinning broadly as an errant, wicked thought passed through his brain. "Ho ho, Rose. Now what is the Doctor gonna think about you naming his son after Jumping Jack Flash and Mickey the Idiot?"

Rose shrugged her shoulders and smiled at her family as Jackie handed the baby over to Pete. "Don't really think about it. I think he'll be too pleased to care. I can't wait to see the look on Jack's face."

The four of them laughed softly, enraptured with the new addition to their family.


	8. Chapter 8- Cracks in Her Armor

Please forgive me for using my own humorous trope. We're jumping ahead nearly three years here.

She barely checked the mirror anymore. At nineteen, she had spent too much time applying far too much makeup. All the excess baby fat was gone. Not only the bit of weight she had gained carrying Jack, but also the last of her teenage body fat. Her face slimmer, makeup subdued, and her hair was shoulder length, sleek and straight. Her body had changed, too. Slightly more voluptuous from having had a child, but also leaner muscle mass as well.

Soft black trousers topped comfortable black boots. The jumpers varied from day to day. Today it was a pale lavender. The one piece of clothing that never changed was a jacket. Jackie had made a face when she saw her daughter in what she termed as her "bloody alien hunter gear". Rose had seen it in a shop, one of the many shops she had only dreamed of shopping in as a teenager. It was a leather jacket, form fitting and sleek. It was a deliberate choice for Rose. Leather for her first Doctor she never stopped loving, and blue for where her second Doctor waited for her- the TARDIS.

Her choice of car reflected the old life she never could let go as well. A sleek 2011 Audi A6, with a custom paint job- blue, of course. A sedan, because she was a mum and all. High safety rating, since she only began driving with any regularity once she was trapped here. She no longer thought of the sportier cars she dreamed about when she was growing up on the estate.

For the first two years after Jack's birth, she divided her time between cherishing her son, gaining A-Levels in physics, and working at Torchwood. Studying temporal physics and things that she forced herself to wrap her mind around, her work revolved around Project Fortis, the dimension cannon she hoped would take her and Jack back home to the Doctor.

Mickey marveled at her ability to switch hats on a dime. She was equal parts mother, student, and scientist.

"It's gonna work, Rose. You know what they used to say about space travel back home? Some Latin phrase about how it could only be gained through hard work?"

"Ad astra per aspera?"

"Yeah, that one. Where did you learn it, Rose?"

Rose laughed lightly. "Been studying all kinds of physics, Mickey. Have to have a little knowledge of Greek and Latin there, you know. If the Doctor could see me now. I once stumbled over Jagrafess, calling it a Jagrabelly instead. It was so huge, that's all I could think of while the Doctor and I stood on Satellite 5 in manacles. It looked like an enormous belly with teeth." Her gaze grew soft and thoughtful for a moment. "Besides, that phrase is the one I think of when I have my bad days, when I lose hope and think it's never gonna work."

"What's it really mean, Rose?"

"Through hardships to the stars."

"Is that why you never have allowed Pete to build you your own house on the compound?" asked Mickey.

Soon after their arrival, Jackie had prodded Pete into building a small house on the property for Mickey and his grandmother, Rita-Anne. Unlike Pete's first wife, Jackie had no shame in remembering where she came from, and if she could help someone like Mickey's gran, she was happy to do so.

"Mickey, I let Pete do that, and Mum might start to think I've given up. A home is a symbol of permanence. My home is with the Doctor."

"I know, Rose. Whether he's big ears and grumpy or wild-haired and won't shut up, I know." He linked his arm with Rose's as they headed away from the Torchwood complex. "Come on, let's shift! Jacks is making shepherd's pie tonight and you know what that means."

Rose shuddered in horror. "Yeah, and I can't even take Pepto Bismol anymore."

"Why not?"

"Well, it's related to aspirin. Aspirin is lethal for Gallifreyans. So I didn't take it while I was pregnant with Jack, and I can't take it now. It's not lethal, but I think having the baby left me with an allergy to it. That…and it's _blue_ in this universe. Lots of things seem funny. Like the Coke logo is yellow, and they actually call chips what the Americans call them…. _fries_. It's not right."

"Only you, Rose," Mickey laughed heartily. "Only you would get all up in arms over chips being called fries when they're the same bloody thing!"

"Still not right."

They continued their good-natured argument in the car on the way back to the Tyler Estate.

Another Christmas meant another Christmas without the Doctor. But there was snow, and she had reveled in watching Jack and Tony enjoy their first white Christmas. Nearly a year younger, Tony didn't quite know what to make of the winter weather. But Jack was not only older, he was showing rapid signs of Time Lord intelligence. It made Rose antsy. She had come a long way from the shop girl with no education, but this was something beyond her ability to nurture. The Void still lay impenetrable between her and the only one who could.

After the kiddos went to bed, Rose and Mickey stood outside. They stared up at the sky and Rose's shoulders began to shake despondently. As much as she had hardened herself, holidays and other occasions were moments that broke her resolve.

"He needs his father, Mickey. He's almost three, and it's just a miracle he's well behaved enough that he hasn't drawn excessive attention. His intelligence is off the charts. Another year or two and we could probably use his input on Project Fortis. He reads just like his father….scans pages in seconds and he's done."

Mickey never said much when Rose would break down these days. Occasionally he offered encouraging words, but there was nothing to do but to put an arm around her shoulder or clasp her hand until she got it off her chest. But he never ceased to be amazed at the way she would center herself, straighten her back, and tug her armor around her once more.

Before Mickey could offer any sort of response at all, Jackie came rushing outside. "Rose, you've got to come see what's on the telly!"

Rose shuffled her feet and rolled her eyes. "Not now, Mum."

Jackie refused to take no for an answer. "You're never too old for a slap in my book. You _need_ to see this. It's not like I want you to watch a rerun of the EastEnders. It's important." She grabbed Rose by the arm and dragged her back in the house.

Rose tended to stay away from television like the plague. Not only had she come to regard it as a waste of her time, an opinion she had formed while traveling in the TARDIS, but she never knew when she was going to turn on a rerun of a show that had an actor with an imperfect, but haunting resemblance to one of her Doctors.

But tonight was a haunting resemblance of a different sort. It wasn't merely a similarity in appearance. It was like Mickey's counterpart who had died in the first Cybermen invasion, Rickey. Both Mickey and Rose's mouths dropped when they saw the dashing actor on the screen in a televised remake of South Pacific.

For all of Rose's rants on how things were different in Pete's World, there were some things that stayed the same. Rodgers and Hammerstein had been one of those things.

"That's….that's….Captain Cheesecake!" stammered Mickey.

"Jonathan Harris is what the credits said," crowed Jackie. "I knew I was right, he looks just like that picture of the four of you in Cardiff."

"Well, I never heard him sing anything, and he was a show-off."

"But he did," whispered Rose. "There's a piano in the TARDIS library, this outlandishly expensive Imperial Grand that the Doctor acquired nearly a century ago. Jack used to play, and sing." She smiled in reflection. "Jack did it for nearly the sole purpose of infuriating the Doctor."

Mickey smiled. "So it wasn't just me he was jealous of."

Rose started to genuinely giggle. "Jack would sit there at the piano and look at me, all dimples and smiles. He'd sing and play old standards and finally one day the Doctor shut the lid and it nearly landed right on Jack's fingers. He said, 'Next she'll be swooning over crooning and I _really_ can't do that!' She mimicked her first Doctor's Northern accent, albeit badly. "Jack just started to laugh, and then the Doctor scowled even more because Jack and I couldn't stop laughing at him!"

"Do you think he's Jack, though?" asked Mickey thoughtfully. "You know, this universe's version?"

"I don't know," she floundered. "Jack only wound up in the 21st century because the Doctor and I rescued him in 1941. He's Human, but he's not even from Earth. If it _is_ him, I don't know what he'll be like."

"But if it is him, don't you think he could help? All that talk about extrapolators in Cardiff, this guy might be able to help us with his scientific knowledge."

Before Rose could offer a further response, a small voice made them turn around.

"Mummy!"

Rose rushed over and picked up her son, pressing her cheek to the top of his head. "What is it, my darling?"

"I feel funny. Like the room is spinning and everyone else is standing still."

"Oh my God," Rose turned anguished eyes on her mother. "It's his Time Lord senses."

"What do you mean by that, Rose?" asked Jackie. "Time Lord senses?"

"He's feeling the Earth turn on its axis, Mum. Being a Time Lord is about more than just being able to fly the TARDIS. That day after Henrik's exploded, he gave me this speech about how he could feel it, and feel the Earth revolve around the sun. I don't know if he was trying to make sure I'd never forget him or if he wanted me to think he was a nutter. But that's what's happening to Jack."

She whispered to her son, "Don't be frightened. Remember what I told you about your daddy?" The little boy nodded slowly. "You're like him, Jack. Fantastic, brilliant, and this is completely normal for you. That's why Mummy is trying to get us back to him, so he can help you with this."

As Rose had prayed for, Jack had his father's coloring, soft brown hair and wide blue eyes that tugged at her heartstrings. It was all that she had of her leather Doctor, the son they had conceived in love. The unlikely perfect circle they completed, despite gaps between so many differences. But Jack's blue eyes held an innocence she had never seen in his father's face.

"Is that why I always know what time it is?"

"Yes, sweetheart. You have a unique heritage. One that you only share with your daddy. A planet and people that are gone forever. You are half-Human and of Earth, but you are also a child of Gallifrey." Rose soothed her son, but her insides were churning. Time senses, telepathy, inhuman intellect- all of these things made her wish she could tear open the Void with her bare hands.

Rose looked over her son's head as he happily burrowed into his mother's shoulder and exchanged pointed looks with both Jackie and Mickey. "Alright. This is one of those times where I don't mind using Torchwood for all it's worth. We track down Jonathan Harris and find out if he's the Captain's counterpart."


	9. Chapter 9- Imagine There Are Worlds

Pete had finally given in and purchased a zeppelin. Not one for personal use, or even a corporate one for Vitex. This one was for Torchwood. Mickey had acquired a license to pilot one shortly after he and Jake came back from Paris. By this time, their underground sources had informed them of Torchwood and Pete's role in it.

He was the public face for Torchwood, and was the one who had to green light all crucial missions and projects. But Mickey was the one who was highly placed. He made most of the daily decisions. His life had been changed by the Doctor, and for the better. Breaking away from Rose, and finally accepting the demise of their romantic relationship had made him into a capable, confident man. No one on _this_ Earth would ever believe he had once knelt on the ground, clutching at Rose's legs to prevent her from leaving him.

After a few days and a bit of research, Rose and Mickey had come to a nearly undeniable conclusion: Jonathan Harris was Jack's parallel counterpart. He had no records of existence beyond the last few years. Pete had gone to great pains to create a back story for Rose and produced DNA evidence to back it up. Jonathan Harris had nothing. No birth records, no parents, no family, and no past beyond the last five years. But Rose had seen photos of him wearing that RAF greatcoat that Captain Jack Harkness had always favored, and that decided it.

So with very little fanfare, Rose and Mickey took the Torchwood zeppelin to New York City. An address had been acquired, and they merely waited for him to leave his residence.

Rose's heart turned over to see that familiar face with that heartstopping grin and dimples and had to firmly remind herself that this man didn't know her. Wasn't one of the dearest people to her heart, and hadn't been partially responsible for the relationship that resulted in her son's conception.

It was mild weather for January, and Rose and Mickey were on foot. She took a deep breath and made her planned approach.

"Jack!" As she had dared to hope, the man stopped abruptly and turned around to see where the voice had come from.

Rose and Mickey walked towards him, Rose making eye contact with a smile.

He grinned back at her, but it wasn't the familiar one she was used to. "Who's asking, sweetheart?"

Rose shook her head and smiled. "Some things stay the same." She gestured to Mickey. "This is my friend Michael Smith and I'm Rose Tyler."

"Well, in that case, that's not my name. That's too bad," he said, as he looked them both up and down appreciatively, and then proceeded to walk off.

Mickey stepped forward, over five years of field training under his belt. "Hold it, mister. You're not Captain Jack Harkness?" His voice was stern with authority.

Jack turned around once again and this time his eyes were hard, cold. "I know who both of you are. You stay out of the media, but I know both of you are Torchwood." He looked at Rose, "Hell, lady, your father _is_ Torchwood. How do you even know about that name?"

"Nothing to lose now, yeah? Might as well lay all my cards on the table," replied Rose. "First thing's first, though. We're not really what we appear to be. And we didn't come all this way to cause you any trouble. I know that you have no history on this planet except for the past few years. I know that you're not from this planet and you're not from this time. I also know that thing on your wrist that you've been trying to hide is a vortex manipulator. That means you were a Time Agent."

"Look, there is no Time Agency. Not anymore. And since you know so much, this vortex manipulator doesn't travel anymore. That's how I got stuck here."

Mickey crossed his arms. "Look, mate. Rose isn't lying. We don't want to hurt you, and we don't want to cause you any trouble. And we don't have any alien-hunting G-men around to take you against your will. Unless you count me," he said the last part with a broad smile.

Rose smacked Mickey on the arm. "Oi, I hunted aliens long before you ever did!"

"Okay," said Jack. "Let's say I believe you. You don't want to hurt me. What do you want?"

"Just to talk, Jack. That's it for now. Even though we are Torchwood, this fact-finding mission has nothing to do with anyone here. It has to do with something very personal, and there's a lot of secrets we're willing to trust you with if you can possibly help us."

"I'm probably crazy for suggesting it, but we can go back to my place. Then we'll talk about anything you two want to." His grin was punctuated by a suggestive eyebrow waggle.

Mickey rolled his eyes. "Some things never change, regardless of what universe you're in."

"I'd serve some hypervodka," offered Jack conversationally after they settled at his apartment, "but it hasn't been invented yet."

"That and it got your arse out of more than one tight spot," grinned Rose.

"How...how do you know that?"

"Good guess, I suppose. That and some things stay the same no matter what universe you're in."

"That's the second time the two of you have said that, 'what universe', as though there's more than one."

"That because there is, mate," replied Mickey with a smug smirk. "What did the Time Agency tell you about them?"

"Nothing more than theory."

"They're not theory, Jack. They're real," asserted Rose. "Just imagine there are worlds, parallel worlds. The same, and yet not. Imagine a world where Peter and Jackie Tyler were married and weren't rich at all. Imagine they had a daughter, but Pete was killed when she was just a baby." She raised an eyebrow at Jack and then continued. "Now imagine a world where Peter and Jackie Tyler are married. Pete makes his fortune, but they never have any children. Jackie's life is tragically cut short by the first Cybermen Invasion. Or so it seems, until she miraculously reappears three years later, complete with a grown daughter they thought had been stillborn." At Jack's incredulous stare, she added, "And I can prove it. Mickey and I are from a parallel universe. So is my Mum."

"I think you're crazy," replied Jack, shaking his head in disbelief, "but go ahead. Prove it."

Rose pulled a pair of old-fashioned 3-D glasses out of the pocket of her jacket. "Put these on, Captain. Go to your window and look at the people outside on the street. Then look at Mickey and me."

Jack strode over to the window and slipped on the glasses. "I don't see anything. This is nuts-". His words were cut off abruptly when he turned to look at Rose and Mickey. "What is _that_?"

"For lack of a better word, we call it Void Matter. You can't travel from one universe to another without crossing the Void. You aren't covered in it. But Rose and I are. Pete crossed over briefly and he is, too. So is Jackie."

"What do I have to do with any of this?"

"That's easy, Jack. Rose knows all of those things about you because we knew you in our universe. You're not one of a kind after all," smirked Mickey.

"I'm trying to get home. My son's father is on the other side of the Void. We're working on a dimension cannon, in the hopes that I can cross back to my universe. By the way, if you need a final piece of proof, I'm happy to offer it." She passed a photograph to the former Time Agent.

"That's parallel me?"

"That's parallel you."

"Who's the guy in leather?"

"My son's father," said Rose softly. "Being from the 51st century, the Jack I knew had a lot of scientific knowledge. We came in hopes you could help us with the dimension cannon."

"And you just told me your deepest secrets."

"Risk I was willing to take. What did happen to the Time Agency in this universe, anyway? You said it didn't exist anymore."

"Yeah, that's because I screwed them before they could screw me. And not in the fun way I'm usually referring to either." Jack winked at Rose cheekily. Mickey just huffed and rolled his eyes. "I found out that higher-ups were taking advantage of fixed points to funnel money into the Agency. So I brought them down."

Rose snorted. "You mean they were making self-cleaning cons?"

"That's right."

"Looks like I got it one," Rose muttered. "The Time Agency wiped two years of my friend's memories. I met him because he was trying to pull a con with a Chula ambulance. Subconsciously he must have known what they were doing and so that's why he was trying to use their methods to track them down."

Jack nodded in agreement. "That was their way of handling people who did things they shouldn't do, or in my case, found out things they shouldn't find out. I'm no hero, but I just didn't have the stomach for it. In the end, it was either me or them. I spent two years making sure all the rats went down with the ship. But all of this doesn't answer my big question. How did you guys wind up here in the first place?"

Mickey chuckled. "That's the best part. It's really Rose's story. I just tagged along for some of it." He looked at his friend fondly.

Rose leaned her head back against the back of the sofa. "This is gonna take awhile."

"I invited you in," replied Jack. "I'm probably even gonna go to jolly old England with you guys and see if I can help you. I'm tired of performing."

"Don't say I didn't warn you," she laughed weakly. "It's about my son's father and how we met. For the first nineteen years of my life, nothing happened. Nothing at all. Not ever. And then I met a man called the Doctor."

Three days later, Rose and Mickey landed on the tarmac at Torchwood, and Jack exited the zeppelin with them. It was late at night by the time they arrived back at the Tyler Estate. Pete and Jackie had a room waiting for Jack in the guest wing. No one noticed a single star in the night sky that winked out as though it never existed.


	10. Chapter 10- The Darkness Encroaching

It was a marketplace planet, one of many that the Doctor had taken Rose to when they traveled together. This one was special because it was the first one he had visited with her. In linear time, it had marked three years since he had brought Rose here for the first time. His leather self had grumbled about the shopping, but inside he was beaming to see the look on Rose's face as her eyes feasted on the wonders before her. He spoiled her shamelessly; offering her credits, jewels, anything the planet used to trade with. At first, she was reluctant to take them.

 _"That's not why I came with you, Doctor," she said kindly, pushing away the proffered credits._

 _The Time Lord scowled, folding leather encased arms across his chest. "But Rose, I got these just for you. This lot's no use to me, unless I'm looking for a part for the TARDIS." He kicked a small stone in front of him absently. "Thought you might like the experience. Now mind, don't go eating or drinking anything unless I've scanned it. Maybe you might even find a gift for Jackie." He supressed a shudder on the last bit._

It seemed like a lifetime ago; even though to his senses, it shouldn't have done.

His thoughts were interrupted by a young woman's voice. "Don't ever do that again! I thought I liked shopping! No one can keep up with that woman."

The Doctor turned around and smiled at Martha Jones. "That's madam for you. She has unlimited currency, and yet wants to quibble with everyone. Though if she dares to bring another hat box on board my TARDIS-"

"You'll what?" Martha taunted with a grin. "You'll throw her the Oncoming Pout and then let her have her way. Siblings, you two are."

The Doctor just shrugged sheepishly, conceding his defeat. "Time Lords do not pout! You all run right over me. Determined to have your way. Rose...well, I couldn't say no to her to save my life. Literally. When she was pregnant, I'd have allowed to her eat nothing but _pears_ if it had made her happy. Instead, she craved fish sticks and custard." The Time Lord's face contorted into a grimace, as he shuddered violently.

"Doctor," Martha said softly. "I wanted to talk to you."

"Anything, Martha."

"I've had the best time since I joined you and Donna. But I'm not Rose or Donna."

The Doctor nodded. "You never did intend to sign up for long. I know. You've got a brilliant future waiting for you, Martha Jones."

Martha's face lit up with a bright smile. "I got a job offer from UNIT."

The Doctor threw his arms around Martha enthusiastically. "Good for you, Martha! Congratulations!"

"I'll be around, though. Someday I may just fancy a trip and give you a call, Doctor."

"Oi! You two!" thundered a loud, brassy voice. "Maybe you are just a toothpick, spaceman, but you can give me a hand right now!"

Martha and the Doctor started laughing as their friend wobbled towards them, fiery head almost concealed by her mountains of purchases.

"I said ' _no_ ', Rose."

"But Mickey," she pleaded.

"No buts. I don't care how 'enhanced' you are." His voice brooked no opposition. This was Director Smith, Daily Operations. Mickey knew Pete would have his head if he allowed Rose to test the cannon first.

"Mickey's right, Rose," interjected Jack. "You have your little one to think about. I'll test it."

"Absolutely not!" thundered Rose.

"Why not, Rose?" asked Mickey. "Just for information."

"When you came here before, and Rickey was still alive, the walls weren't breaking down between universes. Add that to the risk of a paradox, and it could be a bigger disaster than even the Doctor could fix. There's another you there, Jack."

"Well, then I'm going."

"Mickey!"

"Someone has to go, Rose. It has to be one of the two of us. We'll be able to know if it's home. But it can't be you, Rose. I happen to _like_ my house on the Tyler Estate, and I especially like your mum not beating me to death."

Preliminary tests were slow at first. No progress was made. Then they began to realize the stars were going out. There wasn't much time available to them. All worlds were in danger of collapsing.

"But what if you get hurt, Mick?"

"Not exactly my first time dimension hopping. Just because I don't heal like Wolverine doesn't mean I can't handle this. Two weeks, Rose. We've got to consider synchronizing devices so you can take little Jack with you. But first, we have to find home at the right time." He embraced Rose reassuringly. "It'll be alright. I've gotta go, Rose. Martha's meeting me out for dinner."

"I thought there's a match on tonight?" asked a puzzled Rose.

"So?"

That was Mickey's only rejoinder as he headed out the door with a grin.

Rose smiled and shook her head. Mickey had finally found someone more important than watching a match down at the local in his spare time.

Pete said that Mickey was hit with "the thunderbolt" the moment he laid eyes on Dr. Martha Jones. It was through Martha that they learned of Rose's enhanced healing abilities. "Wolverine" might be stretching the truth, but it was disturbing nonetheless.

 _"You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Most beautiful mother. There's no one else in the cosmos I'd rather have as the mother of my child, Rose Tyler."_

 _"I'm scared, Doctor. What about the things he'll inherit from you? Time senses and telepathy?"_

 _"That's why it's time to run, Rose. Time to get in shape and start running again."_

 _"Running?" she snorted derisively. "I had a baby three days ago, in case you didn't notice."_

 _"Trust in me, Rose. It's time to run. Come find me, precious girl."_

It all culminated in Rose waking up and rising from her bed and coming downstairs in tracksuit and trainers, much to her mother's horror. Jackie practically screeched at Mickey to come to the main house and talk sense into Rose.

 _"I'm fine, Mum! I can't even tell I've had a baby. I'm not even bleeding!"_

"Doesn't matter. I don't know what strange ideas you have in your head, Rose, but you are still human even if my grandson is an alien!"

Pete sent one of his newest physicians to see Rose, to evaluate her physical status. The shocking truth lay clear before them. There was no physical evidence to indicate Rose had ever had a child. Rose smiled at the memory of Mickey's first meeting with the strikingly beautiful young doctor. He practically fell over himself to point out that he was "Uncle Mickey" and most assuredly not "Daddy".

Things built slowly between the young couple, but after nearly four years, Rose could tell Mickey was ready for the next step. Might have done already, were it not for the darkness encroaching.

Martha was the lead doctor on Project Fortis. She had been brought into their inner circle, and knew of Rose, Mickey's, and even Jackie's true origins. She was one of the few who knew about Jack's parentage and was the closest thing to a pediatrician the little boy had.

After two weeks, Rose stood pacing in the white room at Torchwood. As much as she hated that room, it now represented hope. After what seemed like days, but had only been hours, Mickey finally materialized in a flash of light, armed to the teeth.

Mickey swerved around for a moment, and then seemed to get his bearings. "It was home, Rose. The smell, no zeppelins, everything. But something wasn't right. As though there was a universe just like the old one, but it just wasn't right."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know, Rose. But there was this woman. Red hair. Thing is, there was something on her back."


	11. Chapter 11- Console Rooms

Recognizable dialog is from _Turn Left_.

The past several months had been full of failure and trauma for Rose. Nonetheless, she made the jumps relentlessly. They had discovered that Donna Noble was the Doctor's newest companion, and that an entire universe centered around her had split off from Prime. Where the timelines had split, Rose still wasn't sure. Rose had held herself firmly in check as she watched Donna run excitedly towards the TARDIS. It wasn't time. It was only a veneer of stoicism on her face as she disappeared back into Pete's World. She had been so close to home, but didn't dare interfere. She had seen the Doctor's hand fall limply in death as the sonic screwdriver clattered to the ground. Her birthplace, destroyed because the Doctor wasn't there to save them. So many more atrocities because the Time Lord was no longer there to protect them.

Rose checked her surroundings and knew at once she was home. The smell of the air, the gravity, everything was as she had known it the first two decades of her life. She looked at the special transdimensional timepiece Jack had designed for her. It was 2015, and she looked up as she abruptly felt a welcome hum from the TARDIS within a few meters of her.

"Someone got a new paint job," Rose muttered as she lightly ran her hand down the wood paneling, now flawlessly blue instead of weatherworn. "Now you know I can't go in there; it's too far in the future." The TARDIS hummed in the negative and opened its doors for her.

"On your own head, then," Rose replied as she cautiously crossed the threshold of the amazing place that had been her home.

Rose took in the console room with wide eyes. Gone were the soaring freeform coral columns of the past, and in its place was metal. Cold, and yet warm at the same time, with the soft orange glow from the Time Rotor.

"Hello, Rose Tyler," intoned a Scottish accent from the upper balcony.

Rose gasped and looked up, staring at the tall, thin man in black. "Doctor," she breathed. Then she remembered something from their travels and a sudden grin had overtaken her countenance. "I see you've redecorated. I liked it as it was."

The Time Lord shook his head and smiled, coming down the staircase to greet her. "A common reaction, but you already knew that, didn't you?" He looked around the console room for a brief moment and then snapped his fingers. Rose gaped as the room shimmered around her and transformed once again into the gorgeous room she had known. "Better?"

"You didn't have to, Doctor. I was just-". She broke off as the man before her held out his arms. There were no more words as she was swept into his arms as he embraced her, lifting her off the ground.

The Doctor pressed cool lips to Rose's forehead as he lowered her to the ground, running fingers through her blonde locks. "You're making the jumps now, aren't you?"

Rose peered closely at this man and was at once was reminded of her first Doctor, older, with intense blue eyes. He probably had more than a bit of gruffness about him, too.

"You're a bit of a silver fox, you are," she giggled.

"That's a lot nicer than old and grey," he snorted. "Should've seen last me. A pudding head in a fez, a buffoon in a bow tie. That me actually died of old age."

"I'm not going to run into myself, am I? The TARDIS opened her doors for me, so I assumed it's safe."

The Doctor smiled sadly and Rose realized this man was old, far older than the versions she had traveled with. "I'm over two thousand years old, Rose. It's been over a millennia since I took your hand in that basement."

"Oh."

"Yes. Better not to ask too much about your own future. Just know that I finally gave you everything you wanted and more, Rose Tyler."

Rose swallowed hard and nodded. "Yeah, I'm making the jumps. I'm trying to figure out where Donna's timeline diverged."

"Now I can answer that question. You must see that Donna decides on the temp job at HC Clements. That's where she has to turn left."

"That simple?"

"Nothing simple at all about it. There's nothing easy about what you'll have to make that version of Donna do. You'll succeed, though. Because you're Rose, and you'll always be...fantastic."

The dimension hopper around Rose's neck began to beep. "I have to go back to Pete's World, Doctor."

"I know. But before you go, I have a couple of things to tell you. One you will always know, and one you'll forget until you can tell me about it. You know that sappy human saying about not being able to love someone until you can love yourself?"

"Yeah."

"Utter rubbish, that. Concocted by pudding heads. I know, because I've spent centuries hating myself. But I want you to know how much I love you, Rose Tyler. More than that stupid sense of self-preservation I once had, more than anything in any universe."

Tears streamed down Rose's face as the Doctor took her in his arms and lightly kissed her. The next thing she was aware of was arriving back in the control room at Torchwood.

The Tenth Doctor comforted Donna Noble after hearing about her experiences in the parallel world.

"Sometimes I think there's way too much coincidence around you, Donna. I met you once, then I met your grandfather, then I met you again. In the whole wide universe, I met you for a second time. It's like something's binding us together."

"Don't be so daft," Donna said. "I'm nothing special."

"Yes you are," the Doctor grinned. "You're brilliant."

"She said that."

"Who said that?"

"That woman. I can't remember now." Donna closed her eyes, reaching back for the memories of the mysterious young woman.

"Well, she never existed now."

Donna looked up at the Doctor, shaking her head. "Just a minute. She was real. She was there. She said she was pulled across universes because the stars were going out."

The Doctor bolted upright. "What did she look like?" he demanded.

"Familiar. As though I'd seen her before. Blonde."

"What was her name?" His tone was increasingly urgent.

Blue eyes met brown as the penny dropped. "That picture, with the other you. It was Rose, Doctor."

"Are you certain?"

"She told me to tell you two words. Bad Wolf."


	12. Chapter 12- Running Towards

Rose hated the white room at Torchwood in any universe. Nevertheless, the day had finally come. She carefully looped a special synchronized dimension hopper around her son's neck. After five long years, Rose and her son were returning home.

"No tears," Rose warned, waving at Mickey's forlorn face. "And for God's sake, make sure Dad keeps Mum from following me."

"But what about me, Rose? What if it's dangerous?"

"Mickey, it's gonna be dangerous. But I won't be without resources. And the Doctor will come for me."

"I'm not making any promises. If I get a hint that you're running headlong into disaster, I'm coming across."

Rose glared at her best friend, but nodded reluctantly. "Come here, you stupid lump," she choked, holding her arms open for a last embrace. "Love you, Mickey."

Mickey nodded into her shoulder, nearly overcome. "I love you, Rose." He lowered to a squat to embrace his nephew. "Little man, you make sure you look after your mum here." He smiled, shaking his head. "I can't believe I'm never gonna see you again."

"Never say never, Uncle Mickey," admonished the little boy, reminding Mickey of his father.

"Yeah, but after your mum and dad fix this mess, your dad's gonna have to close the walls again."

"Nah, they'll do it on their own. Dimensional retroclosure. But that doesn't matter. Dad said he'd never get to see us, and now Mum and I are gonna do just that. So I'm not saying goodbye."

"How'd you get to be so smart, Jack Tyler?"

The pint-sized version of the Ninth Doctor rolled his eyes, snorting softly. "Superior Time Lord biology!"

Mickey rose to his feet, laughing at the little boy. "When his dad used to say that, it always made me want to belt him one."

"Don't think you were alone on that one," replied Rose dryly.

"Don't I get a hug?" asked Captain Jack, who had been watching the scene unfold quietly.

"Of course you do! Come here!" Rose hugged the second version of Jack Harkness fiercely. He had been so pivotal in the cannon project. "We wouldn't be here now if it weren't for you. I've actually spent more time with this you, Jack. I've come to love you just as much."

"Oooh, you 'love' me!"

"Shut up." But they were both laughing.

"Let's break this up now," interjected Mickey. "Time to save reality."

When Rose and little Jack disappeared simultaneously in a flash of light, Mickey folded his arms over his chest, pasting a frustrated glare on his face. "You can come out now, Jacks. I'm surprised the boy didn't rat you out."

Jackie circled the corner, smiling defiantly. "If you think I'm just gonna sit on my arse while my daughter and grandson run headlong into danger, Mickey Smith, then you're every bit the idiot the Doctor said you were."

Captain Jack Harkness was worried. Something was wrong. All of his senses enhanced by immortality were off-kilter, coalescing into a knot in the pit of his stomach that would not go away.

Then there were the oddities that validated all of his concerns. There had been no activity from the Rift in weeks. At first, it seemed a welcome respite. They were, after all, still bitterly mourning Owen and Toshiko. Each day, he watched Gwen sadly touch the photograph of their lost colleagues. But now a respite had become a warning: something was coming. Even Myfanwy was refusing to eat, or even leave the Hub.

"Jack..."

He had tried to call the Doctor, but to no avail. That wasn't unusual.

"Jack..."

He had tried to get in touch with Martha over at UNIT, but they were still playing phone tag.

"Sir!"

"Ianto!"

"You need to see this." Ianto gestured to the monitor. "Just appeared out of nowhere."

Jack started to laugh heartily. "Absolutely brilliant. Way to go, Rosie!"

"The woman, you know who she is?"

"You bet I do." Jack swiftly donned his coat and bounded towards the lift.

"Where are you going?"

"Got a date with a girl, Ianto!"

"A date?" Ianto's voice was suspicious.

"Long-standing one. That's Rose Tyler, Ianto. The little boy is her son, the Doctor's son."

"The Doctor has a son?"

"You're gonna love her, Ianto. I'll be right back," Jack smiled reassuringly down at his lover as he headed towards the surface.

"Oi, this looks like...Cardiff, Mummy," observed Jack with a faint grimace.

Rose ruffled her son's hair, smiling indulgently at her son's disdain. "That's because it _is_ Cardiff. We're looking for one of Mummy's dearest friends. You already know Captain Jack in the other universe, and there's one here, too."

"He's right over there." Jack pointed to a blank space, confusing Rose until she saw her friend suddenly step into view.

"Wait, why could you see him?"

"He was using a perception filter, and they don't work on me."

Jack ran towards Rose, sweeping her into his arms, awkwardly bumping the gun slung across her chest. Rose sniffed back tears as her friend embraced her. "Oh Jack, it's so good to see you!"

"Sight for sore eyes, Rosie," replied Captain Jack with a grin. He crouched down and came eye level with the bright blue eyes of Rose's son. "Captain Jack Harkness. I've been dying to meet you, little fella. So what's your name, son?"

"Jack Tyler," grinned the Doctor's son, extending his hand towards his namesake.

Jack pumped the boy's hand enthusiastically and then turned swiftly to Rose in surprise, smiling broadly. "I always told you two not to do anything I wouldn't do, but that if you did, you should name it after me."

"You're gonna get a smack, you are."

"Now that's no way to treat your favorite Captain." His eyes twinkled mischievously as he looked over the boy. "What is it you say? Blimey, he sure looks like his father."

"Yes he does," replied Rose with a gentle smile.

"Beautiful." His expression turned serious. "As much as I'd love for you to be merely passing through before reuniting with the Doctor, there's a reason you showed up here with a gun like that. Something's off, I can feel it."

"Well, I can fill you in on what is happening in Pete's World, But yeah, this is more than just a trip home. It hasn't happened just yet. I also need to locate a mutual friend of the Doctor's. I need to find a safer place for Jack."

"Let's go to the Hub. We can talk there." Jack placed a protective arm around Rose and began to lead them back to the lift. "And you, little Jack, can come meet a pterodactyl and I bet Ianto has some banana biscuits."

Life had been largely kind to Sarah Jane Smith. It seemed that as soon as she declined a second invitation to travel with the Doctor two years ago, that the adventures for her were just beginning. She was now living an adventure she had given up (with no small despair) on ever having. Motherhood suited her quite nicely. Raising Luke and nurturing his abilities was a privilege and responsibility that she took very seriously, and she was happier than she had been in years.

 _After the events of Canary Wharf, she had kept regular contact with the Doctor. She had worried about him incessantly after Rose had been taken from him. She didn't want to admit it, but she knew there had been more between the Doctor and Rose, beyond what she had shared with him. Then, when a disheveled, glassy-eyed Time Lord turned up on her doorstep after the Cyberman invasion, he dropped a bombshell that shocked her to the core._

 _Knowing that he was heartbroken over Rose was nothing compared to the shock of finding out Rose had been six months pregnant when she was trapped across the Void._

 _He was broken. Unshaven, unkempt, and the light in his eyes extinguished, the man slumped on her sofa bore no recognition to the youthful, vital man she had met at Deffry Vale._

 _"Pregnant?" she breathed in astonishment. The Doctor didn't even bother to look at her when he nodded, still holding his head in his hands._

 _"Six months along. We were going to have a son."_

 _She had given him a swift kick in the arse. Her heart broke for Rose. She knew the girl had been in love with the Time Lord, but things were suddenly clear for her. No wonder Rose had testily insisted she wasn't his assistant. When the whole story came out, Sarah Jane was angry. Angry and humbled. She was angry because Rose had loved him, stayed with him after a regeneration- something she knew wasn't easy to deal with- and it was clear that the Doctor had backed off from the romantic portion of their relationship after he had changed. She was humbled because in spite of the way she had spoken to Rose upon their first meeting, the girl was too warm and caring to hold it against her._

 _She kicked the Doctor at the edge of his trainer. "Get up."_

 _"What?"_

 _"I said, 'Get up, or I'll find a way to kick you in the bum while you're still sitting down.'" Satisified when he got up on wobbly legs, she started giving orders. "We're going to the TARDIS. You're not going to just let yourself waste away. You're going to do what Rose would want you to do- be the Doctor."_

 _She didn't make good on her blushing threat of stripping her himself, but she did trek to the wardrobe, where the TARDIS had laid out a blue pinstriped suit. She tossed it on his bed and finally, the Time Lord emerged from his room, clean and dressed._

 _"Now I'm your friend, Doctor. As your friend, it's my duty to ensure you don't waste away grieving. You know Rose would never want that. Don't you?"_

 _A reluctant nod was his only response._

 _"Good. I can talk. I can listen. But not if you're not even going to so much as shower and shave. The Universe still needs the Doctor."_

 _He stayed for nearly a month, even asked her to travel with him again. Sarah knew that her place was no longer there. But he was at least functioning again when he left her company._

Done with the shopping, Sarah Jane pulled into her driveway. On her doorstep stood a young woman...no, it was Rose Tyler. Holding a little boy in her arms.

Even hybrid Time Lords needed their rest and it was with no small relief that Rose laid a deeply sleeping Jack on Sarah Jane's sofa.

"He's beautiful, Rose. The Doctor doesn't know you're here?"

"No...I went to Cardiff to see a friend who could help me out and he got your address for me." Rose laid a friendly hand on Sarah Jane's arm. "Something's coming. It's the only reason I've been able to come back."

Of all the running the Doctor had done across his lifetimes, he rarely found himself running towards something. He never should have doubted her. Not for a single day. She was actually there for him to touch. She was standing there, utterly gorgeous and wearing that smile he thought he would never see again. He had been given a second chance for a life with Rose and he would relish every second in her presence. His only thought was taking Rose in his arms and claiming her mouth for the first time since that terrible day. He would make her his all over again and there would be no waiting to lead her to his bed. He would finish that sentence and spend every day making sure Rose knew he loved and desired her.


	13. Chapter 13- Torment

This chapter is shorter, but it ends where it needed to end.

The Doctor, Rose, and Donna face their own unique brands of torment as they face the Daleks once again. Recognizable dialog is from _The Stolen Earth_ and _Journey's End_.

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 _Not again._

That was all Rose could think about as she dropped to the ground beside the Doctor. She had come all this way, only to see her worst nightmare happen all over again.

 _Don't die._

That was the refrain inside her head as she cradled his head in her arms and begged him to stay with her.

For in a way that Rose wasn't quite sure the Doctor understood, regeneration was like a death. When it had happened before, so much of her leather Doctor had disappeared, only to be replaced by a nearly opposite personality.

They never crossed that boundary back into lovers after the Gamestation. Rose was human, and for a human, regeneration largely meant falling in love with a different man. She had to search hard to find the things she had loved before, as well as learn to appreciate new traits. They both shared equal blame in the stagnation of their romantic relationship. Just as they had managed to escape the scorched earth of obstacles fate put in their way, they were separated.

There were voices, but Rose could barely hear them over her own heartbeat.

 _Don't die._

"Rose, do as I say, and get back! He's dying and you know what happens next."

What would this mean for them? Would there be anything left of the man she loved first? What of their son and their future as a family? All of those thoughts and more leapt through Rose's tormented mind as Jack drew her tightly to his chest and she watched the Doctor burst into light for a second time.

Then nothing. He had seemed to regenerate, and yet he hadn't changed. Rose barely understood his explanation about his lost hand in her overwhelming relief. She knew it was selfish of her to protest that critical fact of the Doctor's very nature, but she couldn't help remembering how very hard it was before. Her first Doctor's regeneration still haunted her dreams, even after years.

"You're still you?"

"I'm still me."

Rose smiled, her heart swelling with gladness. He did understand, after all. She knew that somehow he had done it for her, knowing how badly it had shaken her before.

"Where's our son, Rose?"

"With Sarah Jane. I didn't know what we'd be up against, Doctor. I wanted him safe."

They finally embraced tightly, happy to be together even in the middle of Daleks, and Earth far from where it should be. But there was no time for romantic sentiments. In a matter of moments, the TARDIS was rendered powerless, and the Doctor, Rose, and Jack found themselves standing on the Dalek Crucible. The Doctor was frantic because Donna was trapped inside the TARDIS, banging uselessly on the doors.

Even as the Supreme Dalek taunted him, the Doctor was pleading for Donna's life, offering to change places with her. The Doctor watched in horror as the TARDIS was sent to its death, with Donna still locked inside.

This was who he was. This was what he did. He ruined the lives of his companions. His very nature, that of regeneration, had compromised his relationship with the mother of his child, the only woman he had ever truly loved outside of his mother. He couldn't bear to see Rose's despair as he once again changed into someone she only knew by name, so he thwarted regeneration. But at what cost? He never could see his own timeline, and only rarely did the TARDIS show him a glimpse of his future.

Even as the Supreme Dalek crowed about the destruction of the TARDIS, the Doctor knew she wasn't truly gone. He would have felt her die, and that had not happened. But why? Still, it was better to play along and acquiesce to every base emotion the Dalek hurled at him.

He was angry, for the Daleks were a pestilence he now knew he would never be rid of.

He was sorrowful, because his people died in vain.

He despaired, because he didn't see any way out for his beloved companions.

Jack once again died in his name as he pulled his useless firearm on the Dalek.

Would his little boy ever know his mother's arms again? Could he save the life of his dearest friend? Could he stop Jack from being endlessly tormented in his immortality? Could he save his Rose? That was to say nothing of saving all of the stolen planets and the whole of reality.

His thoughts were nothing but torment as he drew Rose away from Jack's lifeless body.

********************  
Donna had been unusually distracted by the sound of a heartbeat, nearly from the moment the Doctor siphoned away his regeneration energy into that horrible jar. It was that distraction that left her locked in the TARDIS after the others had made their exit. She tried to make her escape, only to find the doors sealed. She was trapped inside a ship she now knew the Daleks meant to destroy.

"Oi! Oi, I'm not staying behind!"

She held on for dear life as the TARDIS was sent in freefall to its destruction, to the very heart of the Crucible. She finally found herself on the floor near the console, screaming as glass shattered and the console room started to burst into flames. Even as she began to choke from smoke inhalation, her mind's focus was on the heartbeat thumping in her ears.

The hand, the gruesome severed hand, in the jar was calling to her. A single heartbeat thundered unrelentingly in her ear and Donna knew she had to touch it. She didn't know why but she was aware that she had an important role to play in this insanity. This needed to be done.

Suddenly, her ears were overwhelmed by a song she'd heard before. Donna had heard faint echoes of it in the past, but at this moment, it was clear to her. It spoke of ancient and forever. This was a song she knew belonged to the Doctor and his TARDIS. It spoke of loneliness and grief, centuries of isolation and ridicule, and somehow it had become wrapped up in his sad, sweet love for Rose Tyler.

A panel on the console opened up, and its ethereal light distracted Donna from making her way towards the hand. The Doctor had told her about the heart of his ship, and how he regenerated because he removed the Time Vortex from Rose. It was dangerous, looking at this. Yet she couldn't have turned away if she wanted to. A single golden tendril extended from the console, wrapping itself around Donna's hand, making her eyes glow golden for a brief instant.

With singular purpose, Donna turned her attention back to the heartbeat calling out to her. As she touched the jar, she gasped in pain as she was engulfed by regeneration energy. Her eyes once again glowed golden as the jar shattered and the hand lay twitching on the floor of the console room.

As the regeneration energy surrounding her abated, Donna stared in stupefaction as the energy surrounding the hand stretched out and materialized into a fully formed man.

"It's you!" Donna cried.

"Oh, yes!" The Doctor's face halted, puzzled. "Wait a minute."

"But Doctor, _you're naked_!" Donna looked away, scandalized.

The Doctor looked down at himself, completely unaffected by his nudity. "Oi, like you were born with clothes on!" As if stunned again by his own voice, he raised his hands to feel the contours of his face. He briefly grimaced as they landed on rather unmistakable attributes.

Of course Donna knew it was the Doctor. But there was something wrong. The tormented eyes were not brown, but blue.

Then the Doctor gave Donna the very daftest grin she had ever seen in her entire life.

"Fantastic!"


	14. Chapter 14- The New-Old Doctor

**mltrefry: This was always the plan from the beginning. There's not enough happy endings for Nine, and I wanted a Rose that would be pleased beyond belief to have him back.**

The Ninth Doctor only had one question on his mind as he took the TARDIS out of the Crucible to safety. He stared pointedly at Donna from across the console, still absolutely starkers. "Where's Rose?"

"Don't you think you should get dressed first?"

"No."

"She's on the Dalek Crucible with well, the other you."

"Then I have no time to waste," he replied as he headed towards the corridor. "I'll be back. Don't make a sound."

A short while later, Donna was still silent with shock as the new-old Doctor made the repairs to the TARDIS.

He had come back to the console room, clad in nearly all black- heavy boots, trousers, and a weathered leather jacket. His one concession to color was a maroon jumper. If Donna had ever been asked to describe what the "wrath of God" looked like, it would have been the expression in this particular Doctor's eyes when she told him the Daleks had Rose.

"Alright, got everything sorted here. But you've got to keep it buttoned, Donna. No one knows we're here and I want to keep it that way. Like on a submarine, where you can't even drop a spanner." The Doctor grinned, grasping the lapels of his jacket. "I missed this jacket. What do you think?"

"Bonkers, that's what! You are _bonkers_!"

"What? Is it the jumper then?"

Donna was incredulous. The entire universe was going to be destroyed and only the Doctor would want to talk about his jumper, of all things. "You grew out of a bloody hand in a jar, grin at me like a mental patient, and then you say 'fantastic'! Is that what Time Lords do? Lop a bit off, grow another one? You're like worms!"

"Shhhh, Donna! Unique, me! Never been another like me. All of pretty boy's regeneration energy went into the hand." He wriggled his fingers. "Remember the hand? Then you touched it and instantaneous biological metacrisis!" The Doctor's face then fell, realization dawning. "I grew...out of _you_. Suppose it could've been worse."

"Oi, watch it, Big Ears!"

"Oi, watch it, Ginger!"

Donna's jaw dropped. "Are you mocking me?"

"Nah, this me is all Northern, and a bit rough. Kinda like you, come to think of of it."

"Oi!" cried Donna.

"Didn't I say to shut it? Wait just a minute while I think about this. Oh, no. It can't be." The Doctor pressed his palm to his chest. "You have _got_ to be kidding me! One heart! This body only has one bloody heart!"

"Like a human?"

"Oi, I've had about enough out of you!"

"Oh, and like this version of you is such a party! To think I thought you rather dishy in your picture. Why do you look like that again, anyway?"

The Doctor thought for a moment. "I don't know. By all rights, I should look like the other one. But that's not going to stop me. We've got to put a stop to Davros and I've _got_ to get Rose out of there."

Donna shook her head, still confused. "Why did I keep hearing that single heartbeat?"

"Oh, that was me. I'm a complicated event in time and space, must have rippled back. And converging on you," The Doctor shrugged as he made his way towards the console."

"But why me? I'm not important. I'm nothing special."

"Oh, but you are. But you don't believe it, do you? Your mum did a real number on you, Donna. So now you have that sassy mouth and attitude as a result."

"Oi Spaceman, that's my mum!"

The Doctor snorted. "I'd love to have the chance to tell her that Jackie Tyler delivers a better slap than her, because I know. Old Pinstripes would never be blunt enough to tell her."

"Stop it!"

The Doctor leaned against the console, arms folded across his chest."All that shouting at the world. No one's listening, and why should they?"

"I mean it. Stop it, Doctor!"

"Look at what you did, Donna! We were always heading for this, from the moment you appeared on my TARDIS. We're not done yet, either. Headed for something, but for what?"

"Fate and destiny don't exist, do they, Doctor?"

"Might have agreed with you once, but that was before I met Rose." His eyes were nearly unfocused and his normally commanding voice was soft, reverent. "Fresh from the war, newly regenerated, and the TARDIS lands me in London. All to find a girl in the basement that was going to die if I didn't help her. Soon after that, I figured out I didn't want to die anymore."

Suddenly the TARDIS shuddered and the Doctor turned his attention to the monitor. "That's Z-Neutrino energy, flattened by the alignment of the planets into a single string. No! Davros, you can't!"

Donna stood next to him, watching as the twenty-seven planets glowed white. "What does it all mean, though?"

The Doctor's jaw dropped in horror as he realized what was happening. "Single-string Z-Neutrinos compressed into- no, no, no!"

Shaking it off, the Doctor turned to Donna. "No time to waste now, Donna. When I ask you for a certain tool, you hand it to me."

On the Crucible, Davros continue to relentlessly taunt the Doctor. "The man who abhors violence. Never carrying a gun. But this is the truth, Doctor. You take ordinary people and you fashion _them_ into weapons. Behold your Children of Time, transformed into murderers. I made the Daleks, Doctor. You made this."

The pinstriped Doctor was in terror. He had been separated from Rose when they were imprisoned in separate holding cells. They had been forced to watch in horror as Davros tested the Reality Bomb. Now his friends were in this hell with them. Mickey and Jackie had followed Rose from Pete's World to be facing this hell.

It was all because Davros was right. He had fashioned the very dearest humans to him into weapons. Martha actually held a key to a doomsday device that would destroy Earth and all of humanity in the process. Sarah Jane actually possessed a warp star, and Jack stood with it wired up, ready to blow it all up. He wouldn't dare pick up a gun, but his companions had become his armed soldiers. His morality was twisted, indeed. He had always been a bit of a madman, but now he was a hypocrite of the worst sort.

He thought of his son, waiting on Earth. His mother had likely reassured him that he would fix all of this, and all would be well. He had never laid eyes on him, didn't even know his name. He felt helpless as the lives of those he cared about most were in grave danger.

Donna stared, fascinated, as the Doctor cobbled together a device at lightning speed. "So what does this thing do?"

"It's our only hope, a Z-Neutrino biological inversion catalyser."

Donna rolled her eyes at the technobabble. "Yeah. Earthgirl, remember?"

"Davros said he built those Daleks out of himself. His genetic code runs through the entire race. If I can use this to lock the Crucible's transmission onto Davros himself-"

"It will destroy the Daleks?"

"Backfire like you wouldn't believe! All done now, so now we can get this sorted." The Doctor flashed Donna a goofy grin. "Just a warning, it never works out well when we run into our other selves. Once he finds out I'm back, he won't need any hair gel to make his hair stand up. He's in for a shocker!"

Donna thought for a moment. "And what about Rose?"

The Doctor's pleased expression fell. "I hope she's happy to see me. She did all that dimension hopping just to get back to the other me. I do want to meet my son. I don't even know his name, and I just want him safe and protected, along with his mother."

"But in order to do that," he continued, his voice deepening with authority, "I have to stop Davros. So get over there and pull that lever. We have all of reality to save."

Donna scurried to take her place at the console, feeling hope for the first time since this nightmare started.

Rose didn't know what to think anymore. No TARDIS, the Doctor imprisoned in a temporal holding cell. Nearly all of his closest companions, including Sarah Jane, had been transmatted aboard the Crucible. Earlier, she could have sworn she heard the TARDIS whisper encouragement to her. She knew it wasn't destroyed, because she was pretty sure that the Doctor would have reacted more violently if his bond with his ancient time ship had been severed.

She was furious at her mum. She had begged her not to follow her, and her mother, stubborn as always, had defied her after feigning agreement. She knew better than to blame Mickey. She knew that her mother had a way of steamrolling over anyone who dared to try to get in her way. Her mum had put her above Pete and even Tony, defiantly crossing dimensions with Mickey at her side.

Rose thought of Jack, tucked away at Sarah Jane's house with Luke and Sarah Jane's elaborate alien computer system. All she wanted was a way out of this nightmare. That was her only thought as Davros continued to taunt them all, especially the Doctor.

"The final prophecy is in place," gloated Davros. "The Doctor and his children, all gathered as witnesses. Supreme Dalek, the time has come! Now, detonate the Reality Bomb!"

"Activate planetary alignment field!" cried the Supreme Dalek. "Universal Reality Detonation in two hundred rels!

Rose heard the Doctor plead with Davros. "You _can't_ , Davros, just listen to me! Just stop!"

Davros merely laughed, the cackle of a psychopath, as he crowed about what was to come. "Nothing can stop the detonation, _nothing_ and no one!"

Suddenly Rose's ears caught an unmistakable sound. She looked around to see if the others could hear it. By their surprised, but pleased expressions, she knew it was the most beautiful sound in any universe. She smiled in hope as the TARDIS materialized in front of them all.

The door opened, and nothing but white light flooded the entrance of the ship, obscuring her view of who was coming. That soon changed and then Rose gasped as she saw the silhouette of the man in the doorway.


	15. Chapter 15- Hope and Despair

Thanks to all of those who have read and reviewed!

Recognizable dialogue is from _Journey's End_.

When the doors to the TARDIS opened, Rose actually rubbed her eyes in shock and disbelief. For outlined in the bright light was a silhouette she never thought to see again. From square, broad shoulders encased in a leather jacket, to close-cropped hair, and impossibly beloved overlarge ears stood Her Doctor. Alive, whole. He was the most utterly gorgeous sight and she had goosebumps merely from looking at him. Her heart shouted with her entire body as she lunged towards him, only to curse the barrier in which Davros had imprisoned her.

She screamed when Davros shot him with lightning. "No!"

Rose wanted to run to him and she nearly fainted with relief as he recovered and attempted to stand up. "My Doctor," she thought, before guilt shot through her conscience as she remembered the pinstriped Time Lord standing next to her. When she turned to look at him, she realized it was too late. For once he was at a loss to veil his thoughts. Shock, anger, sadness, grief, and regret were all etched on his expression as he stared helplessly at his predecessor.

The Doctor in leather looked at Rose and smiled reassuringly. "I'm alright, Rose."

Even with everyone standing around her, including the Daleks, she knew there was no hiding the love in her eyes as she relished the sight and sound of him. But then her face fell in disappointment as she looked down. How could he be here? Had he crossed into his future timeline to help them? Was she to be reunited with him only to have to send him back to his past, and to certain death?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The Doctor in pinstripes stared in astonishment as the TARDIS materialized on the Crucible. His thoughts were both hope and fear as the doors opened revealing a figure surrounded by white light. He knew who it was, his superior senses gathering every detail about the man rushing forward, weapon in hand. Both his hearts fell to the pit of his stomach as he realized that they would all survive this day, but _he_ would be paying the ultimate price.

For it was his last incarnation who had arrived, the product of the regeneration energy he had sent into his hand. Even though Davros had disabled him, he knew the outcome of all of this madness was certain, fixed. He had turned to look at Rose and there was no concealing the expression on her face, or the single thought that was practically a telepathic shout to anyone with minimum sensitivity to such things.

Rose had thought the words that he hadn't heard in nearly six years, before he regenerated after the Gamestation. _My Doctor_. He also felt her guilt as she turned to look at him. He admitted to himself that had been true, because that version of him had been hers, unreservedly. His ninth incarnation had found nothing but joy in loving her whereas he was always dreading the future and separation by circumstance or Rose's death.

After being shot by Davros, his predecessor got to his feet, smiling and reassuring Rose that he was alright. When that first moment of eye contact was made, his brain was reeling with the assault of memories he had locked up.

The leather Doctor's eyes had widened and he knew that the memories had returned to both of them at the same time. With a cold bolt of fury, brown eyes met blue ones in helpless rage.

"You!" he shouted.

Davros started to cackle in amusement. "For who holds the heart of the fair Miss Tyler?"

Rose's second Doctor opened his mouth to respond, anger written on his face when Donna emerged from the TARDIS and awkwardly held the weapon dropped by the leather incarnation.

"Doctor, I've got it! But I don't know what to do."

Then all thoughts of indulging his temper disappeared as Davros shot Donna, sending her flying backwards.

"Donna! Donna! Are you all right, Donna?"

After the Dalek had destroyed the weapon the Metacrisis had fashioned, Davros sneered in triumph.

"I was wrong about your warriors, Doctor. They are pathetic!"

Rose, still shocked and bewildered, finally turned to the Doctor in brown. Her question was summed up with one word. "How?"

"Human Biological Metacrisis," he answered, bitterness lacing his tone. "Never mind that, now we've got no way of stopping the Reality Bomb!"

The pinstriped Doctor feared for Donna. It was obvious she had touched the jar containing his hand. That meant the Metacrisis worked two ways, and Donna was in grave jeopardy as a result.

The planets were still glowing with energy as the countdown continued. Davros practically preened as his victory was at hand.

"Stand witness, Time Lord! Stand witness, Humans! Your strategies have failed. Your weapons are useless. And, oh. The end of the universe is come."

As the countdown started to head towards zero, the Doctor and his companions watched the screen helplessly as destruction was just seconds away.

Then as if it had never been, the countdown stopped and the screen went blank. At first, everyone had wondered what happened.

"Oh, closing all Z-Neutrino relay loops using an internalised synchronous back-feed reversal loop?" exclaimed a familiar brassy voice. It was Donna's voice, but a bit different than it usually sounded. She triumphantly flipped a switch. "That button there!"

The Daleks were enraged as they realized they had been thwarted.

"System shutdown!"

"Detonation negative!"

The Supreme Dalek demanded answers. "Explain! Explain! Explain!"

"Donna, you can't even change a plug!" called out the pinstriped Doctor with affection.

Donna's voice was mocking as she grinned and answered him, "Do you wanna bet, Time Boy?"

Donna stood proudly at the console, thwarting both Davros and Dalek weaponry, giving technical explanations as she merrily pushed buttons.

"What? Macrotransmission of a K-filter wavelength blocking Dalek weaponry in a self-replicating energy blindfold matrix?"

"Donna, how did you work that out?" asked the Tenth Doctor.

It was the Ninth Doctor who interjected, voice booming proudly. "Time Lord! Part Time Lord!"

"Part human!" Donna grinned in delight. "Oh, yes! That was a two-way biological metacrisis. Half Doctor, half Donna!"

The Doctor's face lit up in realization. "The DoctorDonna! Just like the Ood said, remember? They saw it coming. The DoctorDonna!"

Donna never missed a beat as she disabled the holding cells. "Holding cells deactivated. And seal the Vault. Well, don't just stand there, you big alien dumbos! Get to work!"

All of the companions were amused as Donna disabled the Daleks, causing them to spin around uncontrollably.

"What did you do?" asked the leather Doctor.

"Trip-stitch circuit-breaker in the psycho-kinetic threshold manipulator!"

Both of the Doctors looked at each other in amazement.

"Why did we never think of that?" exclaimed the pinstriped Doctor.

"Because you two, you were just Time Lords, you dumbos! Lacking that little bit of human, that gut instinct that comes hand in hand with Planet Earth. I can think of ideas you two wouldn't dream of in a million years! Ah, the universe has been waiting for me! Now, let's send that trip-stitch all over the ship! Did I ever tell you?" Donna happily wiggled her fingers at the two aliens. "Best temp in Chiswick, 100 words per minute!"

While the three sent all the planets back to their original position, Jack and Mickey trained guns on Davros while Sarah Jane, Rose, and Martha pushed away disabled Daleks.

It was Rose who finally approached the console, anxious to know what had happened. "Is anyone gonna tell us what is going on?"

It was Donna who answered her question at a rapid-fire pace. "He poured all his regeneration energy into his spare hand, I touched the hand, he grew out of that but that fed back into me." Donna pointed at the leather Doctor. "But, it just stayed dormant in my head till the synapses got that little extra spark, kicking them into life. Thank you, Davros! Part human... part Time Lord. And I got the best bit of the Doctor. I got his mind!"

"So there's three of you?" asked Sarah Jane.

"Three Doctors?" asked an astonished Rose.

A strange look came over Jack's face at this news. "I can't tell you what I'm thinking right now."

Rose looked into the eyes of the Doctor in black. "So you're not from the past?"

The Ninth Doctor smiled lovingly at Rose. "No, Rose."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Martha nudged Jack as the three around the console continued to send all the planets back. "What's going on with Rose? Why is she constantly looking at the other Doctor like she's afraid he's going to vanish?"

Jack shook his head, smiling. "That was what the Doctor looked like when I met the two of them. They were beautiful together. He's the one who fathered Rose's son."

Martha nodded in acknowledgement, but her eyes were trained on the man in pinstripes, his eyes showing despair and regret as he saved the Universe with his friends.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Davros quickly realized the extent of Dalek Caan's betrayal. He had foreseen Donna Noble and proclaimed a prophecy to end all things Dalek.

There was one planet left to send back- Earth, and they would have to use the TARDIS to tow it home.

The leather Doctor stood at the console on the Crucible while the pinstriped Doctor ran inside.

"The prophecy must complete," squealed the mad Dalek Caan.

"Don't listen to him!" cried Davros.

"I have seen the end of everything Dalek, and you must make it happen, Doctor!"

The ninth incarnation of the Doctor paused for a moment, and then his face hardened with resolve. He looked to Rose, who nodded slightly in assent.

"He's right. With or without a Reality Bomb, this Dalek Empire's big enough to slaughter the cosmos.. They've _got_ to be stopped!

Donna frantically tried to stop the Oncoming Storm. "Now, just wait for the Doctor!"

"I _am_ the Doctor! Maximizing Dalekanium power feeds! Blasting them back!" His face was stony as the Daleks began to explode around them.

The Tenth Doctor emerged from the TARDIS, and upon sight of what was happening, merely looked at his predecessor and nodded. It had to be done. Otherwise, the Universe would be in jeopardy once more.

The leather Doctor grabbed Rose's hand and they ran while the pinstriped Doctor urged everyone to get in the TARDIS.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was a smooth flight as they towed Earth back to its proper orbit, as they finally had enough people to fly the TARDIS accurately.

Everyone was jubilant as the Earth arrived back home, a monstrous disaster averted. The blue eyed Doctor stood next to Donna, smiling at her as they all celebrated their success.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

As Rose stepped away from the console, she looked at both of the Doctors. The Doctor in brown was looking at something on the view screen, while Her Doctor was decidedly gazing at her.

Making her way over to him, Rose stood before him with impossible hope and love gleaming in her eyes. She finally found her voice and asked the question that was foremost in her mind at the moment.

"Are you really here? Are you really _him_?"

His stormy blue eyes were soft as he nodded and smiled.

Rose was practically shaking as she saw the love shining in his eyes, undiluted by regeneration. It had been so long since she had seen it that she had begun to wonder if he had really ever looked at her like that.

"Rose Tyler." His smile widened as he reached forward to cup her cheek. " _My_ Rose Tyler."

"Always, my Doctor," she whispered, trying and failing to maintain her composure as tears welled in her eyes.

The Doctor's breath caught as Rose leaned into his touch before practically leaping into his arms. He lifted her up in his arms as he embraced her tightly, breathing in her scent, and he was overcome with emotion in spite of himself.

Their emotional reunion was interrupted by a strident Jackie Tyler. "Oh, don't tell me you're still stuck on his nibs in the leather!"

It was Sarah Jane who laid a hand on the arm of the pinstriped Doctor as his face was etched with sadness.


	16. Chapter 16- We Are Different

**Warning: This story is for the Nine fans. This chapter in particular is for them.**

Recognizable dialogue is from _The Parting of the Ways_.

Humans and other races had often grasped onto the idea of a Utopian afterlife. The Doctor had never been able to hold on to such a concept. Steeped in science and reality, he had had no concept of what such an existence would mean for him. He thought that would be what he would always know. But as he held a joyfully weeping Rose Tyler in his arms, he was seriously reconsidering all of the tightly held precepts he had believed in before this day.

"Rose, my Rose," he whispered, the only words he could manage at the moment. He was back, he had come back for this woman he had loved so much. He had returned for her and their child, and he was determined not to waste another moment without telling her what she meant to him.

"How?"

Easing her back down on the floor, he reached out and stroked her face. "So many things I have to tell you, precious girl. But the short version is I'm here for _you_."

Rose couldn't tear her eyes away from him. Her teeth bit into her quivering lower lip as she stared into his beautiful eyes and his unwavering earnest gaze. "You're here, for _me_?"

"Oh, yes. Don't doubt that for another moment for the rest of our lives, Rose. I couldn't bear to leave you forever." The new Doctor held Rose's face in both hands as he drew a breath and uttered the words he had never given to another being, not in this way. "Rose Tyler, I love you."

Rose sobbed as she smiled incredulously through her tears. "You love me?" she asked.

"Always," he replied, running his thumb lightly down her lower lip, encouraging her teeth to let it go. " _Always_." Then he leaned in to softly kiss her.

His lips met hers, tasting her sweetness and tears and happiness at having finally arrived at this moment, despite everything. Rose was trembling as she entwined her arms around his neck and then he no longer cared about the rather extended audience about them. Just as his arms made to lock around her waist, another arm gripped his shoulder, as though to pull him away.

"Oh NO. You. Me. Library. Now." His tenth incarnation's features were stone, matching the cold steel in his voice.

"Doctor-"

"I just need a word with the U-Boat captain, Rose."

All in the console room fell silent as they watched both of the Time Lords disappear into the corridors.

Jack and Mickey rushed over to Rose, who still stared open mouthed after where they had disappeared.

"Rosie-"  
"Rose-"

Tears started to fall down Rose's cheeks when the two men were suddenly flanked by Jackie.

"Sweetheart-"

"I just, I mean, I never thought, I wasn't expecting," she babbled, looking around the room at all eyes glued to her. "Oh, Mum! What am I going to do?"

"What do you want to do, Rose?" asked Jackie, her tone oddly gentle.

"I want- oh, God! I promised them both. I promised them both forever, and now..." Her tears stopped as she looked at Mickey.

"How do I tell him? How do I _hurt_ him that way?" Her voice was barely a whisper. "I can't have them both."

Even Jack had no cheeky reply to that.

"I love them both. My first Doctor, he's _here_. He's here, Mum, and he loves me. And yes, I'm still stuck on him. All those dreams, all these years, they've been of his face. Always. But my second Doctor, I love him, too. It was just harder for him to come to terms with everything. But I can't, not- not with my first Doctor here." She shook her head in a futile attempt to clear it.

It was Donna who broke the stalemate.

"Well, if you want my opinion, I think you should go after them because whatever's happening in that library right now can't be pretty."

"How can she hurt him that way?" asked Martha, after Rose had disappeared in search of both of the Time Lords. "All that time she was gone, he missed her. He mourned her, and-"

"She's dying inside, Martha," answered Sarah Jane coolly. "You've never known more than one incarnation of this man, and I have. Both of them are the Doctor, and both of them love her. Her boy, Martha. Her boy looks so much like that man in the leather."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The Tenth Doctor wildly paced as his rage grew. Anger at his former incarnation, anger at the Universe, but most of all, he was angry with himself. He had done this thing, and there was nothing he could do to change it. He tugged at his collar in frustration as he whirled around to face his predecessor.

"You bastard! Possessive, you always were. And now _this_ manipulation! Thought we had done away with that lot along with the ugly sweaters!"

"Oh, you can just shut it, Pinstripes."

"I'm not done, you Northern prat!" he shouted, gesturing wildly for quiet. "Always there, your ghost, coming between Rose and me and now I know why. Why did you do it?"

The leather clad Doctor gave him a withering look. "If you have all your memories, then you know why. It's because I didn't want to leave her. It's because-"

It was then that the suited Doctor leapt in front of his rival and got in his face, body taut with anger. "It's because you couldn't leave well enough alone. I ought to find a way to stick you back into that bloody jar and watch you try to manipulate your way out of that!"

"Oi, pretty boy!"

 _"Doctor!"_

Two heads whipped around to see Rose standing in the doorway.

"Now, Rose," began the Doctor in the suit. "I wanted to have a private word with-"

"Stuff to that, I'm not leaving!"

"Let her stay," drawled the Ninth Doctor. "It's not as though I have any secrets to keep here."

"Why are you two fighting? I could hear the shouting all the way down the corridor."

The suited Doctor suddenly launched a volley of liquid profanities at his counterpart in Gallifreyan.

"This would have happened anyway!"

The brown eyed Doctor jerked his chin towards the wall, refusing to look at anyone.

"You don't want to admit it, do you?" he taunted, folding his arms over his chest. "There was always going to be a Metacrisis today, and you know it." He looked over at Rose with a fond smile. "Fantastic thing, that little bit of Human. Finally gives me some understanding about something Rose understood all along."

"And just what is that?"

"That perhaps we're not quite the same after all. See, I've been you. When I regenerated, everything I was died, and you walked away in my place."

"Oh, so that's the great bit of wisdom your so-called humanity has granted you?" The suited Doctor's eyes were nearly feral with barely restrained rage.

"I was right to do what I did," answered the Ninth Doctor defiantly. "Not only did I see what would happen, but I have all of your memories. She was pregnant with our child, and instead of spurring you on, it made you more cautious, more afraid to cross that line again."

"If you have all my memories," spat the pinstriped Doctor with a disdainful huff, "then you know I was also thinking about Rose's health. She was exhausted all the time with a risky pregnancy, and-"

"But just how do you think it looked to Rose? One thing after another. You even admitted making excuses to create distance. She might have had an easier time dealing with regeneration in the first place if-"

"If _what_!" The full Time Lord was shouting again. "If I acted more like _you_? I wanted her to want _me_!"

A smug smirk appeared on the new Doctor's face. "At last, you're clever! We _are_ different!"

Rose finally threw up her hands in a huff. "Someone needs to tell me what's going on here!"

"Him, Rose. _Your_ Doctor."

The Doctor in the leather coat flew in a protective rage, blue eyes darkening to stormy grey. "Not her," he thundered in Gallifreyan. "You don't get to take this out on her!"

The Doctor in brown blanched in realization at what he had done. "Forgive me, Rose?" he begged, finally allowing some of the rampant fury to recede from his eyes.

Rose's eyes were filled with helpless anguish as her gaze shifted back and forth between both men. "Just tell me, please."

Defeated, the pinstriped Time Lord's shoulders slumped. "I'll leave you to it. There's just no way-". He gave his counterpart a meaningful look. "Just take care of her."

Rose started to go after him as he headed out of the room. "Doctor-"

The Doctor in leather laid a hand on her shoulder. "Let him go."

"But he's hurting!"

He shook his head. "Some things not even you can make better, Rose. He needs to be alone right now. I would feel the same way if I were him."

"There's still something you're not telling me. He was so angry. It was like you coming back was your fault."

A small smile appeared on the Doctor's face. "That's because it _is_ my fault, love."

"What do you mean?" asked Rose.

"The Metacrisis, Rose. It should have been his form, not this one. I made this happen. We didn't remember until I saw you standing there on the Crucible."

"Why didn't you remember?"

"Time Lords have lots of tricks, Rose. Regeneration is just one of them. We can also erase our memory of events for various reasons. Usually it's because we've run into one of our past or future incarnations and we can't have that knowledge of the future. I'm still mostly Gallifreyan, Rose. Still a telepath."

The Doctor turned to Rose and raised his hands on both sides of her face. "Will you let me show you what happened on the Gamestation? It's the best way to explain everything to you."

Swallowing hard, Rose nodded her consent.

The Doctor's fingertips pressed gently against her temples and Rose gasped at the intimate feeling of being ensconced in his mind again after so many years. Rose felt his sorrow and pain, his happiness at finally being with her again, but most of all, his encompassing love.

Then she saw herself through his eyes on the Gamestation.

 _He had been a coward. He couldn't save the Earth, couldn't bring himself to destroy the Daleks that would unleash themselves on the universe and destroy every living creature in their path._

 _He was still a coward, for the impossible moment Rose emerged from the TARDIS in a blinding swirl of golden light, he fell in stunned terror, and paralyzed with fear so the only thing he could do was plead with Rose to let go of the Vortex. He watched in awe as she destroyed the entire Dalek fleet._

 _She was going to burn, his Rose. These past few weeks with her, and he had been stunned at the privilege of being able to make love to her. Until this moment, he hadn't known that his love for her, which he had yet to express in words, was returned with equal fervor. He knew what he had to do, and her next words finally spurred him into action. He was the Doctor, had become the Doctor again because of Rose Tyler. Time to fix it, to heal the woman he loved._

 _Tears of agony rolled down Rose's cheeks. "I can see everything. All that is, all that was, all that ever could be."_

 _The Doctor rose to his feet, a coward no more. "That's what I see, all the time! And doesn't it drive you mad?"_

 _"My head."_

 _"Come here."_

 _As they shared that last kiss, he drew the vortex from Rose, and was mentally shocked to the core. He had said that he "saw everything" all the time. But even his Time Lord abilities were no match for the power of the Time Vortex. He knew in that moment that saving Rose meant regeneration. She would be frightened, and overwhelmed with grief. The next him would be the same man in so many ways, but likely a great deal different from him, too. Resentment boiled up inside of him. He had been happy, for the first time in over nine lonely centuries. But Time would never allow for the Doctor to be happy. Her timeline flashed before him. She was already expecting his child. Grief and overwhelming despair as she tearfully clutched his leather jacket in the privacy of her bedroom. A new Doctor with all of his memories, and yet a form of cowardice that eluded even him. Ultimately, as they started to move towards a real future as a real family, she was to be trapped away from him, heartbroken. The Doctor saw his beloved Rose, determined to get back, determined to give their child the father she never had._

 _She fainted in his arms and as he lowered her gently to the floor, he saw two possible paths. A hand he would lose almost immediately after regenerating. His next incarnation thwarting regeneration because he didn't want to change. There it was. So before he released the vortex back into the TARDIS, he made his decision. Either way, the hand with the regeneration energy would become a Metacrisis. He determined that the Metacrisis would be him. This him. He would come back for his love and his child._

 _As the TARDIS doors closed, he crouched down in the floor and stroked her face once again. His fingers lightly brushed against her temples and his mind whispered to hers. "I love you, Rose Tyler. And I'll be back."_

 _He picked her up in his arms and carried her back to the TARDIS. His strength was waning; he had to settle for leaving her on the grating, for he couldn't even make it to the jumpseat. He hastily took them into the Vortex, sadly realizing that Jack had to be left behind for now. The Doctor then locked away the memories of the Vortex, in both himself and Rose. They could only be unlocked by the success of his mad, almost desperately human plan: their reunion._

The Doctor removed his fingers from Rose's temples, gently disentangling his mind from Rose's. He stared at Rose with eyes full of hope, love, but also the barest uncertainty.

Rose would not have it. Fresh tears threatened to fall as she looked at the face of the beautiful man she never dreamed she would see again.

"I love you," she whispered fiercely.

Then she grabbed the lapels of his jacket, yanking him forward, and crashed his lips against her own.


	17. Chapter 17- Terrible Choices

**After Rose makes her choice, she talks to the pinstriped Doctor and understandings are made.**

 **Shorter chapter here.**

 **This story has been my love letter to the Ninth Doctor, but it also has been an AU I wanted to explore. I wanted to know what might have happened had Rose had been intimate with Nine, and then canon with Ten happened anyway, even with a pregnancy in the mix. Rose loves Ten, but her heart wants what it wants.**

 _Three Years Ago_

Watching Rose was the Doctor's favorite activity, and now it was compounded by the fact that she lay completely bare in his arms. She wriggled closer and softly murmured as she slept contentedly, her delightful curves molding perfectly against his lean frame.

The tenderness in his gaze was tempered by the slight smugness in his smile. He was unbelievably sated, and he had fulfilled her. The shock on her face as she came down after he brought her to an explosive climax was one he would never forget if he lived another nine hundred years. Her shy admission afterwards that she had never reached completion in exactly that way caused him to bury his face in her hair as he embraced her tightly, concealing a proud smirk.

He loved her, and he had almost lost her. He might lose her still. The Bad Wolf was coming for them. He didn't know if it would be months or years. The Doctor even had no idea exactly what the Bad Wolf meant. But he knew he would do anything to keep Rose safe. Only the prospect of her death could make him send her away from him.

The Doctor thought of the ring he had made after Woman Wept and wondered if he would ever have the courage to present it to his beautiful Rose. Now that she was his, the desire to make things permanent was growing stronger than ever. He just had to be sure that she loved him the same way.

 _Present Day_

If the Doctor could have stared off into space in the Gallifrey room, he would have. Instead, he loosened his tie and unbuttoned his suit jacket, sitting in the red grass against a large tree.

He had been born out of love, out of his ninth incarnation's love for Rose, and that same incarnation had seen to it that that love remained when he regenerated into this body. But with the love, came the pain. The Bad Wolf was no longer coming for them, but something else always was. They were star-crossed. He was always destined to be separated from Rose, one way or another. It was also at his own hand. He searched his feelings and knew that his former self had been right. If the Metacrisis had been like him instead, the outcome would be the same. But why did it feel like she was choosing another man?

It had only been a few short years since he met Rose, and yet it also seemed like a lifetime. They were right. He was a different man in those days. But some things also remained the same. He loved Rose enough to thwart regeneration. He also loved Rose enough that given the chance, he would do exactly the same thing his former incarnation had done out of love for her. He would die for her, and he would find a way to live for her again.

His reverie was interrupted by the appearance of the one person who knew what he was feeling (and didn't want to clock). Donna.

"I don't have to ask how you're holding up, Spaceman."

"No, I don't suppose you do."

Donna sat in the red grass, flipping her leather coat behind her back. She laid a hand lightly on the Time Lord's shoulder. "I wish I could say something to make it better."

The Doctor's mouth was a tight line for a moment as he stared forward. He shook his head, for once at a loss for words. "Doesn't seem like it will ever be. Problem is, I don't blame her." He choked down tears on the last words and swallowed heavily. "It's all my fault."

"How on earth could this be your fault?"

The Doctor laughed, but it was an ugly laugh, no mirth whatsoever. "I did this. Wellll, not exactly this me. But before I regenerated, I made sure I'd come back to Rose like that. And in a twisted way, I hardly blame him, either. I'd do it, too. I didn't want to regenerate, so I didn't. What's so different about wanting to come back from the dead, really?"

"Except that she's choosing him."

"That's my fault, too, Donna." The redhead laid his hand over his own. Their hands fit, but in an entirely different way. His friend to run with.

"Tell me, Doctor. How is it your fault?"

He ran a hand through thick chocolate hair, as though to prepare himself. "I told you about Bad Wolf?"

"Rose."

"Yep," he affirmed, popping the p. "But so much more than that."

Donna's eyes glittered for a moment, and then returned to normal. "A Moment, across the fabric of all of reality, and the Vortex, channeled into one human girl. A goddess of time, who could see every atom of existence and change everything. Rose used that power to defeat the Daleks." She grinned dazzlingly, "I really get that stuff! Not such an Earthgirl anymore!" She grew quiet for a moment. "It touched me."

The Doctor stared at Donna, as if she was going to disappear into a great conflagration. "What do you mean, it touched you?"

"The Bad Wolf. The TARDIS opened up before I touched the jar. Light wrapped around my hand, and that's how the hand became the gruff one in the leather instead of like you. But that still doesn't answer my question, how is it all your fault? Rose choosing him over you, that is."

"Yeah. I used the Vortex to make the Metacrisis the old me. She's human. All that bollocks about being the same man after I regenerate. If I were the same, why'd I stop myself from regenerating? I did it for Rose. I knew I'd be different. It all boils down to the fact that I never really let myself be hers. He did. The baby, I was him when we conceived the boy."

"So I gathered from what Sarah Jane said," replied Donna blandly. "But are you saying your relationship with Rose was different?"

"Exactly what I'm saying. I didn't tell her about regeneration until it was about to happen. Only had a minute or two to tell her what was going on- oi, Donna!" He grabbed his arm, rubbing it. "What'd you pinch me for?"

"No wonder she had a hard time with it, dumbo!"

"I could just see you...all big and brawny and blustery-rude- 'fantastic' trying to tell her you were gonna change. Then you light up like a fireworks display and 'molto bene!' Skinny, fluffy, pretty Doctor. Who made her think he didn't want her that way anymore."

"But that wasn't true! And not everything is about...that!"

"She was pregnant with your baby. At some point, it had certainly become about...that. With human women during pregnancy, _that_ becomes bloody important."

"Donna! We aren't having this discussion!"

She shrugged her shoulders, shining red hair rippling. "Okay. We're not. I'm sorry I was so harsh with you, especially now. But maybe I'm not the one you should be having a conversation with at all."

"She's with him," the pinstriped Time Lord ground out. "Likely he's told her everything by now, how he loved her too much to leave her forever. I just can't...I can't hope to compete with that."

"No, but she loves you. She was coming back to you. Even if all this ends for you here, Doctor, she still has things to say, I'm sure of it. She was torn apart by having to choose. After you dragged Big Ears off to the library, she said she loved you both."

"That's Rose for you," the Doctor smiled wistfully. "If she could find a way to create two of herself, she would. She never could stand anyone hurting, even if they deserved it."

"Am I interrupting?" asked a soft voice from the doorway.

The Doctor closed his eyes and swallowed. Rose. He might never hear her voice again after today.

Donna stood up, dusting off her trousers. "I'll be back in the console room. Sarah Jane, in particular, is ready to go home to Luke."

Rose looked weary as she watched Donna disappear back into the corridor and she turned to the Time Lord before her. She felt wretched with guilt and grief over leaving him.

"I'm sorry," she begged. "I love you, Doctor, I do-"

The Doctor turned sharply to look at her and his topaz eyes burned into her for a moment, and he allowed her to see everything he had held back for so long. His longing, his grief, his love. He stood to his feet so he could be at her level as he gathered his courage to say the one thing he had always felt but had never said to her.

"And I love you, Rose Tyler. No expectations. No motive to try to keep you with me. You just deserved to hear that sentence finished at last, Rose. After all you've been through, after what I put you through-"

"But-"

"No, Rose." He smiled sadly. "I messed it all up. I regenerated, and that trust had been compromised. By the time you started to accept it, I started to push you away. I made you feel as though what we shared wasn't the single most important connection I've ever shared with another being. And I couldn't stop being afraid of losing you. Even after we started to make our way back to each other, the fear kept gnawing at me, and prevented me from loving you the way you deserved."

"I know. I loved you. I missed you terribly. Every minute I was in Pete's World, I spent with our son, or I spent on the dimension cannon. I was coming back to you." She bit her lip, bowing her head in anguish. "I just didn't know that there was any possible way you could come back as you used to be."

He cupped her face gently, tears welling in his eyes. "I know, Rose. I know there would be no peace, no happiness for you if you knew _he_ was out there."

Rose threw her arms around her pinstriped Doctor, unable to hold back her tears, and they both wept for terrible choices.


End file.
